Just 20 Funny Tweets to Help You Get Your Giggle On This Weekend
We at FML spend so much time reading through all the submissions to sort out trash from treasure that we get bummed before too long. That’s why we take the occasional Twitter breaks to pick us back up.
Here are some of our favorite Tweets from the week that made us laugh!
1. Lightspeed engaged.
when you have class at 8 AM and wake up at 7:45 AM https://t.co/tKOE0DWMke
— Andrew Kanatsky (@AndrewKanatsky) October 14, 2017
2. Roses are red, some diamonds are blue, chivalry is dead but you're still kinda cute.
Me transitioning from Timbaland's part to Nelly Furtado's in Promiscuous pic.twitter.com/tKtYLtjm3O
— El Espiritu Joto (@EspirituJoto) October 15, 2017
3. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
me irl pic.twitter.com/1WUNZikQZ0
— me irl ? (@ItMeIRL) October 15, 2017
4. You'll figure it out one day.
When I doubt myself, I remember Leonardo Dicaprio has reached the peak of his profession despite never learning how to wear a watch pic.twitter.com/FcuBNy2TCg
— Sexy Jamie McKelvie (@McKelvie) October 14, 2017
5. I can hear the opening drum roll already.
As Christmas nears Mariah only grows more and more powerful. https://t.co/S2sPXlP4zy
— Takiyah Thompson (@unrulybabyhair) October 12, 2017
6. Never ignore motivation.
Some random number just inspired me to turn my life around ? pic.twitter.com/uiYXJ1VUs9
— ? (@CurryStJay) October 13, 2017
7. ...in fact, I could use some right about now.
*wakes up at 7am*
— Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) October 13, 2017
Me at 7.01am: https://t.co/I8K2CLsct0
8. Five Red Bulls a day get expensive over time.
Parents: how did you blow your entire savings account only halfway through fall semester??
— Cassie (@cassie_vanzee) October 10, 2017
Me: https://t.co/QDvCnTOSwm
9. Soulja boy tell 'em.
my parents: [leave the house]
— william shookspeare (@dracomallfoys) October 9, 2017
me, walking into the living room: HOW YALL DOIN?! tonight i'll be performing the greatest hits from the 2000s pic.twitter.com/RjCv6vIdFc
10. Sorry for the tangent.
I can tell you 8 stories while just trying to tell you one https://t.co/9AeGSd0DMO
— ㅤㅤㅤtom (@TommySobieski) October 11, 2017
11. For real though.
I fucking love how there’s only 3 month left in 2017, time flies when your life is falling apart
— J A K E (@lowkeyhigh) October 14, 2017
12. So should I send my made up excuse as to why I can't actually come now or should I wait a few more minutes?
When you agreed to go out and the time to go out is getting closer pic.twitter.com/hefLJdoJds
— DJ Pendejo (@kevenchy_) October 10, 2017
13. I see how it is.
when you check your snapchat to see if they replied and it says "opened 6 minutes ago" https://t.co/cQJOJ5bs7Q
— ㅤㅤsc: roronextdoor (@SubjectiveIy) October 10, 2017
14. Always there I.C.E.
If I ever get married somebody remind me to take the ponytail holder off my wrist before I walk down the aisle.
— Hanah☾ (@HanahHutchinson) October 10, 2017
15. The freaks all come out this month.
Flirting in October: https://t.co/9a0r3DGVvG
— Connor Hannigan ?? (@connor_hannigan) October 13, 2017
16. It was an unspoken thing, you know?
joe jonas is engaged. wow I just think it's funny how he made eye contact w me during hello beautiful at their concert in 2008 but it's fine
— emo morgan (@morganhoodiemob) October 15, 2017
17. Even princesses know how to drag you.
“Why are you so obsessed with Disney? It’s for kids.”
— Valeria ? (@valmrodriguez) October 16, 2017
First of all, bippity boppity back the fuck up.
18. And we lived happily ever after.
once a dude interrupted me, and a second dude said, "wait, she is saying something." anyway i married the second dude.
— Kathryn Jezer-Morton (@KJezerMorton) October 16, 2017
19. I still miss our convos, Guy Who Sometimes Sat Next To Me In Translation Theory.
Friends in college are like pic.twitter.com/5gS7ftVFPp
— College Student (@ColIegeStudent) October 15, 2017
20. Now my mascara running, red lipstick smudged.
when you're out in public, but your hoe anthem comes on pic.twitter.com/UNWxuEpTpI
— monty (@caramelthot) October 14, 2017
I'd like each caption to be like 500 words long, really spelling each item out, I guess.