Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML
Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML
Today, I had my 28-week ultrasound. Baby is doing well, but has clearly inherited his/her father's growth genetics and currently measures at the 96th percentile. I'm a tiny woman (pre-pregnancy 105lbs). I'm screwed for the delivery. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML
Today, I learned that not only am I pregnant, I'm too far along for an abortion. My husband and I originally bonded over the fact that we both hate children. FML
Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor, even if you have a C-section. FML
Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 36
That was like my sister, so she ended up having her kids via C-section. May want to look into that
AmazingSam 3
they would have you get a c-section and safely knock you out...
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Comments (32)
mike3775 36
That was like my sister, so she ended up having her kids via C-section. May want to look into that
Ashamed_Sister 60
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Aiden Stubblefield 9
drinking just a little less poison than that which can kill you, may not make you stronger. nor will hypo thermia if you get to live.
Nova Solarius 10
Actually, humans DO become resistant to protein-based poisons such as snake venom. Our immune system's pretty cool, adapting to just about anything that doesn't kill you. There supposedly used to be a guy that injected himself with snake venom for most of his life, then transfused his blood into people that were bitten by snakes when serum wasn't available. Such a think actually works too, though transfusing large amounts is dangerous due to blood type mismatches.
Nova Solarius 10
*thing, not think. Curse you, lack of an edit option!
Sceptic59 3
If this is true, this is the only FML that I've seen on this website.
AmazingSam 3
they would have you get a c-section and safely knock you out...
dogeatdogeatheart 4
Consider this: she may not want to be unconscious when her child is literally born. That's sooooort of a big moment. Once in a lifetime, literally.
siggy_mcsigx 22
C-section sounds medically safer in this case. I was born c-section and it was no less special for my mother.
Cassieloub 3
Why safer? You don't NEED a epidural to give birth. I had had and air and that was it.
Powys12 0
If the baby is large enough and the pelvis is small enough, the baby will break your pelvis on the way out. That takes months to heal. Alternatively: get a c-section and experience far less pain that breaking your pelvis open to accommodate the baby's head.
Inkoseh 31
Sure! Or she could be pushing, and she receives an episiotomy (Or worse, Perineal tear) which has weeks of recovery and sometimes reconstructive surgery. And again, she would then have to be awake through the surgery of the intentional cut/unintentional tear and further surgery to correct it. Or, she could be pushing and have to now have an Emergency Cesarean, with the baby under stress, and the mother under more. She'd have to get knocked out either way for those. Sometimes you don't always get things they way you want them to, but I would most certainly prefer the health of mine and my child's body over seeing my baby immediately. I've had two Cesareans, and the first one was emergency. I'm thankful for having a competent doctor who gave me sound medical advice, as I also have a very narrow pelvis and tried anyways!
Charli-Ann Wilson 11
C section for you! Hope it all goes well with it all.
RichardPencil 30
On the bright side, you will always have the excruciating pain of childbirth to guilt-trip the kid for the rest of their life! “Don’t want to clean your room? Remember that time your big, bulbous head came out of my tiny hoo-hah? No? I do! Now, clean your ******* room!”
Bubbles77777 11
hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha:):):):)
chuchaiilabss 19
oh my hahahahahahahahaahhahaahahahah
tonyfan00 38
For once, this will undoubtly be more painful than what most men will experience. Good luck OP!
CassyM 6
Yes, a c-section here they knock you out is likely what they will offer you. Very sorry as I am sure that was not in the birth plan. But how he comes isn't as important as you both being okay. Good luck!
Cassieloub 3
Why is everyone assuming she'll need a c-section? Many women give birth without epidurals.
Inkoseh 31
Narrow pelvis and wide baby head has a higher chance of the doctor giving an episiotomy, or the mother having a perineal tear. Which, she would have to feel on top of the birth. That's the issue!
johnnyswallop 18
Not only that, I'm having a hard time reconciling epidural to "local anesthetic." Two different things, I'm pretty sure.
Inkoseh 31
She may not have known that there's a name for both. Epidurals I believe have both substances in it? Pain relief and spinal block. (analgesia and anesthesia)
Lobby_Bee 17
Have the baby in a pool if that even helps at all, I have no idea. I just saw it in some movie.
Yudith 25
I wish you that the doctors don't decide that general anestesia is too dangerous for the foetus and decide to give you a C-section cold turkey...or worse, a cut to the vajayjay and a pep talk while you scream your head off. Good luck!