By minac11 - United States - Brooklyn

I am sorry!

Today, I went to give my boyfriend a hug and accidentally knocked his brand new phone out of his hand. The screen was broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1709

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329

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Miscellaneous

Waiting for that special someone

Roommate from hell

A mother's love…

By shut_up - United States - Roseburg

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48705

You deserved it

5784

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By dire-rear - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38990

You deserved it

3640

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By jackass - United States

Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15828

You deserved it

82480

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By Superficial - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36899

You deserved it

2671

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By hihaay - United States

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30043

You deserved it

2945

Favorite

By Unteachable - United States

Today, as a high school English teacher, I had to read submissions for a writing contest. The entries were filled with words like "irregardless", "could of", "acrost", and "ain't". These papers were supposedly written by the best students in the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7189

You deserved it

776

Favorite

By Notyourstepmom - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59344

You deserved it

4448

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By Pukey - United States

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30521

You deserved it

2182

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By Robyn - Ireland

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12585

You deserved it

27916

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By CLH - Canada

Today, I accidentally dropped my engagement ring down a sewer. To my surprise, the sewer water was frozen and my ring sat on top. During my efforts to retrieve it, I had to watch as the ice slowly melted due to the warm day. The ring sank further and further until it was completely gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40360

You deserved it

6757

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By klutz - United States - Woburn

Today, I broke my fifth bone in three years. While I'd like say that they've all been scary, athletic injuries, most have been from attempting to do things as mundane as walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7477

You deserved it

853

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By inthefamily - United States - Washington

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10513

You deserved it

36154

Favorite

By 4gottenmemories - United States

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59635

You deserved it

3618

Favorite

By hot coffee - United Kingdom - Farnham

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14760

You deserved it

27038

Favorite

By blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34382

You deserved it

3704

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By anon - United States - York

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26410

You deserved it

3095

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By Taylor - United States

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24893

You deserved it

5572

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

79558

You deserved it

6028

Favorite

By somerandomchick - United States

Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66788

You deserved it

30435

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Mankato

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28988

You deserved it

4424

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By annoyed - United States

Today, I recieved a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36952

You deserved it

2870

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40562

You deserved it

10128

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By Magicfml - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6223

You deserved it

993

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By Anonymous

Today, I worked security by myself in an office, which meant I had to eat at the desk and wasn't allowed to leave. I got written up for my husband dropping off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3615

You deserved it

347

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31114

You deserved it

22408

Favorite

By CockroachCluster

Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4003

You deserved it

457

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By grossedout

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32962

You deserved it

3703

Favorite

By NinjaWafflesx - United States

Today, my mother hacked my Facebook and broke up with my boyfriend and pretended to be me. She told him if he ever talks to me again, she'll call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40671

You deserved it

3942

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

306058

You deserved it

20747

Favorite

By right - United Kingdom - Weymouth

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65471

You deserved it

8191

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30275

You deserved it

2680

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45590

You deserved it

20709

Favorite

By dan - 13/8/2020 17:01

Unloved

Today, I found out that all of the times my mom told me that she was busy out of town wasn’t due to work, it was that she was going on vacations with her boyfriend and his kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1499

You deserved it

Favorite

By HorrorByrd - Canada

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45948

You deserved it

14153

Favorite

By nthor - United States

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14655

You deserved it

140938

Favorite

By xXEmmaLieXx - United States - Berkley

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43420

You deserved it

2967

Favorite

By porkfriedlife - United States

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35796

You deserved it

25663

Favorite

By Justkillme

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3583

You deserved it

407

Favorite

By roseland - United States - Hilton

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

I agree, your life sucks

59992

You deserved it

6177

Favorite

By ThanksAsshole

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

Today, I got fired from a business I ran for almost 6 years. Why? The new owner refuses to close, despite our governor ordering non-essential businesses to close, and for people to stay home. I told her I wasn’t comfortable working, and that it was technically illegal. So she fired me in a group chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2181

You deserved it

151

Favorite

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Top comments

By mfranks19891989 | 10

#7877281 - Sunday 26 January 2020 20:29

It was an accident just pay to have the screen fixed.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7877287 - Sunday 26 January 2020 21:33

Ouch, a literal break-up.

COMMENTS

By mfranks19891989 | 10

#7877281 - Sunday 26 January 2020 20:29

It was an accident just pay to have the screen fixed.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7877287 - Sunday 26 January 2020 21:33

Ouch, a literal break-up.

By campdude90 | 15

#7877392 - Monday 27 January 2020 9:27

Better hope he got phone insurance or they will let you pay for phone insurance with accidental damage

By J15237 | 23

#7877547 - Monday 27 January 2020 21:31

Stuff happens. I am sure you found a very nice way to tell him how sorry you were.