Here's This Week's Collection Of The Worst FMLs Ever

Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.
For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "hanky pankies" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, get ready, be prepared.
feelin hot hot hot
Today I told my ex that he had to leave my home by this Saturday. He’s pissed at me, therefore I came home & my house was nice, cool, & comfy. I am leaving and returns black home & he turns the HEAT on to 85 degrees. Now it’s hotter in my house than it is outside & I have breathing issues..... fml
if u cant read fml that really is an fml
Today I'm at work. In warehouse. Sitting here for 8 hours... literally doing nothing. Spotty service for my phone makes it impossible to load FML
A BALANCED DIET IS IMPERATIVE FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP
My boyfriend of a year slept through our diet, for the second time in a row. He doesn’t apologise, just blames working
such a bitch move
Today, my Xbox was a bitch and then I heard a plane like noise coming from the direction of the Xbox so I fell out of my chair and made a lot of noise it was a real plane my Xbox was next to a window. FML
what. a..........................shitty situtation :0
Today, while going to my first ever boxing session the moment I started training I had to go to the bathroom and I sure did to the point where I’m sitting here still with a clogged toilet just waiting the embarrassment out thanks Crohn’s FML
hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I opened the fridge and found out my Eggs were green loss hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
we are hapy to post your fmls here, keep em comin
I give portions of my FD up a life that is humorous. Yet fml only post things by dumb women and fake things by those women's bits all BS. 2 prove: i. A man is unable to work because of disability just got food stamps. My mom who left me at 2 wants me to pay for her stuff and now food while she stacks money
Oh BOY
Today at a baseball game one of my teammates kept trying to take my gloves, I told him to stop, but he was too dumb to listen but then I later found that he had his own pair. Oh boy the things I said to his face, FML.
That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!