Here's This Week's Collection Of The Worst FMLs Ever

Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.
For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "flippity boops" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, get ready, be prepared.
this is true mothers are good at finding stuff
Today, When you think someone has no other way to disappoint you... but she's your mother and she can find anything. FML
wow thats rude you should tell her to download the app too tho
Just Joined FML Community by Installing this App, Texted a Beautiful Girl and Instantly Replied By Her saying " Sorry I'm Not Interested ?? "
THIS IS SHOCKING NEWS
Apparently its frown upon to complement your co-worker. Saying you look good enough to sexually assault, gets you a one way ticket to HR
Maybe You Should Ask. Your Dad. For Money.
It's My Mothers Birthday In A Few Days I Don't Know What To Do I Have No Money And No Gift. Not Old Enough To Get A Job Yet Either And My Dad Raises Hell If We Don't Get. A Gift.
DEEEEE-NIIIIED
Today, I was at the guy (I hook up with) &his girlfriends place, drinking (the 3 of us) Had a blackout and PISSED ON THEIR TABLE IN THE LIVING ROOM. Woke up the next day, still drunk, didn't realize anything&left the place. Had a flashback of a VERY blur 1sec scene asap when she called me to ask. I DENIED. FML
Was this FML send through predictive text
I caught my wife lying about the dumbest shit like she was in high school tell him I can't do this and talk to somebody hang out, whatever when she was lying to me and them and twisting shit and manipulating shit for a couple months and the best part is she actually is trying 2convince me it's my fault
please we need a follow up to know wtf arteries figurines are
Today, my arteries figurine arrived, but the one of the standard pieces broke off and my father forgot where he left his glue ughhh
rude?
my long distance boyfriend won't respond to any of my messages ?
That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!
"Damn boy, you look good enough to get 10-15 years in prison!"