Here's This Week's Collection Of The Worst FMLs Ever

Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "zippitybops" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

cowabUuUNGA so awesome

I watched teenage mutant ninja turtles, when the villain said "OK" my ok google thought it was me! #raspy

CAT DAMN

Today I realized I now have a 3rd baby daddy (recently split with ex) and turns out this one is the Ultimate dead beat dad another one of those ill be back in an hour or 2 to pick him up and never fucking shows up or even calls for a CAT!

theres a lot of math involved in your dick getting hard

Today I found out that taking an alien power 110000 (a boner pill hat works for 7 days) is a really bad idea to take he night before work the box doesn't advertise that out only with your penis be triple its regular size and harder than a 2x4 but it will ay that way for 7 days... Fml.

first grade cousins

Today, I have been striving so much for some relationship and affection due my last relationship being over 10 years ago that a cousin proposed to go out and have sex with me so I could cheer up. My parents are first grade cousins, and theyain'tt the first ones I know of. Is this how this family works? FML. FML

yolo, laggo.

Today I all day long I had to walk around with the most uncomfortable wedgie ever, while wearing Lagos that apparently are see through. FML?

ya u gross

I'm on my period and I got a huge whiff of it in class, and it smells good. I'd what's wrong with me.

flippin' feb.

I've been talking to this guy and he has me on fb he has on more than one occasion told me he likes me, but then I see in Feb he has a date tonight ? I flipping hate my life I actually thought something was there apparently I'm oblivious FML

thats not ghosting brosef

When you royally messed up and your wife ghosted you on text

*dramatic sobbing* but I LOVE HIM, MOM

today my bf and I got drunk & I started crying BC of jealousy. he wanted me to leave his house asap, but I didn't so I ended up being dragged all the way to his front door. thrown my shoes at me. yelled at me saying he is disgusted touching me.I didn't know crying was a crime. still love him! so yeah really an FML

ok den

Today, I discovered that both my son and my daughter play Dungeons and Dragons. FML

That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!