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Here's This Week's Collection Of The Worst FMLs Ever

By nadine / vendredi 23 mars 2018 10:00
Here's another selection of the worst FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep.

Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

 

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "boodipittybopz" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

ur day was the cats meow.

after crying to my boyfriend about moving 3000kms to clean up 4 or 5 giant piles of cat puke a day while he's at work, I slipped in another pile of cat meows and wound up having it down the side of my face. Still crying.

fml isn't your slam poetry class 

had bad luck for 4 days got bitten by a dog's second I fell while cycling due to wet road third It was a near miss with a reckless driver forth I cannonball into a car door which suddenly opened on a busy road ripping it apart with minor injuries decided to stay at home for a while. FML

ok soda pop

Today I found that the IT Security consultant role I left my last SOC role for will become a low level SOC rule... fml

ugh im sure walter had so much to say about it tbh

I work for Walter (like over eating). On my first day, 2 hours in, I got bit by a dog. A fat, blonde Chihuahua.

wow this is my fav sitcom cant wait for next week

Came to visit family.. ended up being the maid, broke things off with a guy I’ve been dating because “I’m too committed”. Wtf...

UM HELLLOOOO 

I am an EMT and today I called the receiving facility to ask if they would accept the patient without the DNR filled out by the Doctor and the nurse said the question is can you transport without the DNR hello am the one calling you you need to answer my question not the other way around

no one cares about whoever is catfishing you

Barely slept waiting for someone important to be online. They came online right after I fainted from sleep deprivation. FML

OBV u didnt kiss him u arent some kind of PANDA

A few months ago, hanged out and talked about cartoons with a kid, who's younger by just 4 years. Just last week, found out that he was spreading FALSE rumors that I "kissed" and hugged him, which is NOT TRUE for I am not a panda. He greeted me and pointed to his cheeks, as if to say "kiss me here". FML

v sad

Today... I saw my memories on Facebook. I don't know why it appears because she blocked me, but I can see a comment of my ex and her profile photo. She left me 2 years ago, 1month after she said YES when I asked her to marry me. She lay down with another guy 10 days latter. My sadness reappear... FML.

YALL, this isnt the platform for complaints &questions. stahp. questions go to [email protected]

Today, I tried to validate my email with this site, but it won't work..... FML.

That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!

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Top comments
By  Symphoniaes  |  32

Reading these makes my brain hurt. How hard is it to use proper grammar, syntax, and orthography? English is my second language and I’m always blown away by how poorly native anglophones speak.

Comments
By  Cali  |  52

I know phone keyboards are tough to navigate for some people, but the state of grammar and punctuation in some of these is abysmal. Autocorrect just couldn't save them.

By  Symphoniaes  |  32

Reading these makes my brain hurt. How hard is it to use proper grammar, syntax, and orthography? English is my second language and I’m always blown away by how poorly native anglophones speak.

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