Here's This Week's Collection Of The Worst FMLs Ever

Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.
For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "Tinkie Winkies" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, get ready, be prepared.
stupid! stupid!
Today, I reset the settings on my phone to the factory ones. Nice translation and I am a moron. FML
curse you, dog
TODAY WAS PETTING SOME DOG UNTIL THE DOG PEE ON THE SHOE FML
STOP being trendy pls
when female tries to be trendy and you have to block their notifications.
pet rock would make dis better
Today, I went to flip out with my cousin Liam and my friend Ellis. And Ellis always brings his phone because he has his data and WiFi, so he brought his phone (as usual) and me and Liam had to sit in the back and listen to his phone going "Turn left" "Turn Right" should of brought my rock ??
BOMB!
Today, TODAY after months without fucking with a man from my past, BOMB! I'm back to square one! One too many cups of Wray and nephew and a shot or two of absolute and I'm here. guess I don't know what I want in life FML. FML
huge ass
I get so impatient hungry watching my food microwave that when it’s done cooking, I can’t stop myself from taking a huge ass but the second I take it out & burn the fuck out of my tongue. With that being said, I burned my tongue 4 times within the last week. #FML
no babiez.
We have been married less than a year and all anyone can ask/say is when we're having babies. I don't want babies. I don't even like babies.
life is v hard
Is it just me that whoever is 16 and lives in the UK. the new GCSE scheme is stressful. sometimes I give up ☹
neither do i
Hey, I'm new and I have no idea what I'm doing ?
f dis family
my wife and daughter are pigs, the house was trashed since I came
That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!