Here's This Week's Collection Of The Worst FMLs Ever: Put A Crash Helmet On

Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "cat turds" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

Female 

I packed and left for the airport to catch my flight and my passport was expired and I didn't know female

FML isn't a dating site

Is it possible for being with a gay partner in India?

Nothing else mattress

Today.... People flamed out. It was amazing, everyone thought their problems were important..... They weren't. Silliness ruled..... things died, silliness ruled... nothing mattered.

The agony

Today, I was having a burrito then, my tooth hurt FML

The rock n roll lifestyle

I did drugs wth my best friend. We split a Molly and I think we might need to go to rehab now ?

Gymym

Let's start by saying... Fuck I finished working as bartender 6am and slept a few hours before heading tthe gymym. I can't find my h, use,bike and main gate keys. I drank my pre workout 40min ago already and now I'm simply miserable... Fmlned, Fml

Dead or Alive

Today, i wanted an ATM machine, so it took me to get into my ex's college to use the one that is there and i was walking like a WANTED duck, fml

Anal probing is the best part!

Today I was talking to my teacher about my UFO religion. After spending half an hour explaining to her that they don't have claws or venom nor do they go around anal probing people, I eventually showed her a picture of one of the extraterrestrials. She then said (and I quote) "Oh, he's hot!" FML

The last sentence has us mystified

I went to the school website and sent an email with a photo attached to somebody. The entire system crashed. I'm 13. The belt was worse than the bill.

LEAVE WAR ALONE!

I realized today that one direction is ruining yet another thing I love...war

That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!

Bonus track: We get 10 submissions like this a week, "My life can't fit into the format, I'll never get published " Write your own blog then if it's that interesting!
  

My life is too complicated for FML

Today, I found a place to share all of the weird and horrible events of my life... but the format doesn't allow me to share things that happened in the past, so I have about 70 FMLs that will go unseen. FML.