Here Are The Top 10 Comments Of The Week!
Welcome to our weekly top comments list... User tested, staff approved! As always, congrats to everyone who made it!
10. Oh ho.
Today, at over 9 months pregnant, I woke up to a wet bed. Convinced my water broke, I woke up my husband and had him drive me to the hospital at 3am. The nurse told me my water was fine, I had just peed the bed. FML
"Bladder safe than sorry." - Hejira Hayes
9. He's especially good at expectorating!
Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML
"Does he use antlers in all of his decorating too?" - Glowworm56
8. Poop jokes are always fun.
"The pee guy comes in first, but the poo guy was definitely #2." - ChromoTec
7. So kind. Wow.
"Apparently, his battle is not going well, so you might want to grant a dying man his wish. If you send me the pics first, I can give you some artistic advice. Usually, my consulting fee is very high, but I’ll waive it for this worthy cause." - RichardPencil
"Going pro boner, eh? You're such a caring individual." - BurnInDemonFire
6. Deja vu.
Today, while dreaming, I was thirsty and grabbed a glass of water to drink. The taste was so horrible that it caused me to wake up and realize I was drinking the isopropyl alcohol I keep on my nightstand for my CPAP machine. All Poison Control had to say was, "Uh oh." FML
"Uh oh" - ZoroMiHawk
5. Purrfect pun.
"Not quite the liquid recommended for a slip 'n slide, but hey, I guess it's not a total catastrophe?" - Levi2411
4. You don't say?
"Hmm...I don’t think it’s yours." - infinitemonkey
Today, my mum put up a sticky fly trap to try get rid of our fly problem. My phone started ringing and I jogged to answer it, but my hair got suck in the trap. My mum had to pull my hair out of the sticky mess and pick dead fly bodies out of my hair. FML
"I can see why that would bug you." - Leeono
2. DemonFire. BurnIn DemonFire.
"Here you go, Doc. One urine sample, shaken, not stirred." - BurnInDemonFire
1. Sneak = -100
Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML
"It’s getting harder and harder for him to tiptoe around the house...." - fjvitt
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
Today, for lunch I bought a burger, fries and milkshake. As I went to sit down the milkshake spilled all over the table, in my failed attempt to catch it I also managed to spill my fries all over the floor. FML
"Were you sliding around in cat pee?" - RichardPencil
That's all, folks!
Keep the comments coming, and if you really want to get on next week's list, a good pun never hurts. 😉