Here Are The 9 Funniest Comments Of The Week
9. Thank you for that lovely tale!
“'Once upon a time, there was a turkey named Oswald. He was a happy turkey who spent his days on the farm eating corn, having sex with lady turkeys, and selling weed to Hollywood celebrities. Unfortunately, one such celebrity owed Oswald a lot of money, and although Oswald had teamed up with Snoop Dogg to persuade the celebrity to pay up, the celebrity ended up killing Oswald, and selling him to a local butcher. The butcher plucked Oswald's feathers from his lifeless corpse, and cut off his head and feet, before selling him to a hungry family. Now, this family had a very curious son, who thought placing a slice of Oswald in a DVD player would cause a movie of his life to play on the TV. Well, here we are, kid. You weren't expecting this story, were you? Also, you've just pissed off a load of vegans, and Peta are after you. Good luck. The End.'” -BurnInDemonFire
8. Wish you would, tho.
“Your dog was on duty and working. You don't just pet someone when they're working.” -Glowworm56
7. Anonymous, eh? We're onto you.
“Is that you "I hate Leg Puns"?”” -Abbusser
6. Committed to the bit.
“That's commitment. And as a man, commitment scares me. So this is terrifying” -BurnInDemonFire
5. Insert something about donut holes here
“Looks like FML was also using the wrong “hole.”” -Donut_Wizard
Today, my 30-year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML
“Lucky for him, there's an entire genre of porn for that sort of thing. I mean, that's what I've heard.” - Dave_Davington
3. This can probably be arranged.
“Man, I would love to chug some of that great fapple flavor” - ChromoTec
2. It's for the spider now.
“Gotta throw away the whole face” -EggyDogger
“Did you know? Everybody swallows 28 spiders in their sleep in their lifetime. And is ALWAYS 28. If you're on your deathbed and have only swallowed 3 spiders in your life, 25 of them show up at once.” - thehaystackerine
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
“Imagine fighting with your boyfriend only to find out he’s sleeping with your ant...
So much worse!” - RichardPencil