Here Are The 20 Funniest Tweets From This Week!
1. What a weird move
i’m fucking DEAD rn y’all have no idea pic.twitter.com/ELO5u5SyEF— kate (@dunfIower) August 15, 2018
2. Well, he aint wrong.
my parents have access to mine & my brother’s bank accounts & accidentally took money out of my brother’s savings instead of theirs to pay the mortgage and now every time we tell him to do something he says “you can’t talk to me like that in my house”— kaelin (@k__somm) August 12, 2018
3. The results are in: Use protection!
I'm here if you need my help! https://t.co/oCOIfkMdaT— The Maury Show (@TheMAURYShow) August 11, 2018
4. This video needs to be watched in full
I can't even imagine how high these guys were when they created this masterpiece pic.twitter.com/8M5njSPJMF— Mario (@MMLe0) August 15, 2018
5. Where the real friends at?
WHEN I SAY TAKE PICTURES OF ME, THIS IS WHAT I MEAN OR WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS https://t.co/RqR3wFIYl7— Nik (@AmoNickk) August 10, 2018
Wait for the end pic.twitter.com/jirRDe5EbY— Spencer (@NotABonerGarage) August 11, 2018
7. Daily dose of adorable.
our pup may be cute but... pic.twitter.com/tun9hSl0qD— cαitlin wernentin. (@catwern5) August 12, 2018
8. Yep. Same day shipping please, thanks.
That’s it I’m ordering one https://t.co/kpvV77AwRe— ʜᴜɢᴏ (@StatchoGit) August 14, 2018
9. A must watch:
A reality show in which CEOs have to live off their lowest paid employee’s salary for a month.— Briana 🎹👑 (@Inner_knowing) August 13, 2018
10. Female struggles. Well, one of many.
when u get out of the shower on ur period & it’s a race between you, time, and gravity— leah (@JUMPSUlTZ) August 11, 2018
Everybody knows you gotta dab the brush in water, add the toothpaste then stick it back in the water https://t.co/GufN2WUK5K— Derrick 🏊🏾♂️ (@_ayosworldd) August 11, 2018
12. And you proceed to sit like this for 4 hours.
When you get out the shower and they still haven’t texted you back. https://t.co/7XhwOqiD0F— jer (@1nfamousJer) August 15, 2018
13. Damn millennials.
Me: I’m tir-— rose 🌹 (@therosegawden) August 11, 2018
An adult I didn’t ask: WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I HAD 8 JOBS, 11 kids, I was double majoring in Math and Med and DJ-ing at the disco every weekend! I never even took a nap until I was 26, girl catch up!
14.I don't know about y'all, but this is relatable content.
i love when dudes from high school hit me up like "i don't know why we didn't talk when we were younger"— caitlin (@liluziyert) August 10, 2018
because y'all bullied me, next
15. SOMEONE HELP THIS POOR SHARK
my dumbass thought it was trapped in an iceberg https://t.co/kO9S2xnrvW— dre (@andrecrosdalee) August 14, 2018
16. Kim, there's people that are dying.
Me looking for Kim’s missing earring to pay for college and a new life https://t.co/JnqFKaQE7f— Esme 🕷 (@simpingesme) August 10, 2018
17. Someone please get this woman an award.
met a bunch of guys from Harvard yesterday and I kept pretending like I never heard of that school just to piss them off...one of them legit turned red when I said, “Harvard? Is that like a local community college?” LMAOOOOOO— v-ne$$a (@V_sugarbaby) August 12, 2018
18. How's your 5 year plan going?
So I had a wedding in my Calendar for this Saturday and I was very stressed out because I didn’t know whose it was and I was afraid I was going to miss it. Then I realized that it was part of my 20 year plan and I set it like 5 years ago. It’s my wedding, I’m missing my wedding.— Troy (@thunt59) August 15, 2018
19. At least save your misery for later
bro my coworker starts crying bc her boyfriend broke up w her (thru text) & my manager gon say “that’s why we stay off our phones @ work” LMFAAAAOOOO shordy ain’t shit 😭— #𝕓𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕 (@ollietttaa) August 14, 2018
20. Sounds like a whole bunch of who the hell askkkkked
Doing my makeup on the train this morning and a random man told me he likes women to have a more natural look. I told him I like men to have a more silent look. 🤷♀️— Amy Fowler (@AmyAbroad) August 15, 2018