Here Are The 20 Funniest Tweets From This Week!
1. Suprise, bitch.
Me: “Wow my skin has actually been so clear lately”
— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) August 1, 2018
Acne: https://t.co/7vJ80WRpHo
2. Am I laughing or crying?
My abuser’s lawyer put a screenshot from my Instagram on the big screen of me in a bikini. This is not, nor will it ever be relevant to what happened to me. And it was probably meant to humiliate me, but it actually just put on legal record that my ass is stupid fat.
— lucky #13 (@JordyNaps) July 29, 2018
3. On my tombestone: wow IKEA is cool
Me when I was 5: wow IKEA is cool
— LK (@ellkay_) July 31, 2018
Me when I was 15: wow IKEA is cool
Me when I was 20: wow IKEA is cool
Me when I’m 50: wow IKEA is cool
4. @PETA
HOW DARE YOU https://t.co/095WDxdK6x
— Nik (@AmoNickk) July 31, 2018
5. And that about covers it, yep.
“damn you reply quick, you bored?”
— Luis Curry (@Kauzing) July 28, 2018
first of all im in love with you..
6. ABBA 4 life.
You are:
— 🐚 (@MeryISheridan) July 28, 2018
⚪️ lesbian
⚪️ straight
⚪️ bisexual
🔘 the dancing queen, young and sweet only 17
7. The Most Relatable Tweet Of The Week™
if i say i’m “running errands” it means i’m doing like one important thing and then i’m getting coffee and going to target
— maddy (@timesnewmaddy) August 1, 2018
8. Everyone needs this little sister.
My sister was crying over a boy and my little sis wasn’t having it. “Get up pussy.” 😂 pic.twitter.com/UjRb3uenjT
— Gina ♡ (@VirginiaArlene) July 27, 2018
9. DON'T KILL SPIDERS, THEY ARE ASPIRING YOUNG PROFESSIONALS WITH FULL LIVES AHEAD OF THEM
My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
— Tomasz Łakomy (@tlakomy) July 27, 2018
We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
10. If this is Soulja Boy's way of making a comeback 10/10 I applaud it.
Crank That Soulja Boy https://t.co/6S1ri1Z2vS
— Soulja Boy (@souljaboy) July 29, 2018
11.This was completely unpredictable to don't even try to guess.
at no point during this video did i know what was about to happen next. https://t.co/85VA9MEYK6
— Loofa Vandross. (@__theKZA) July 28, 2018
12. Maybe her kids were eating Tide Pods and she just wanted to be young 'hip' mom.
I just watched a woman drink laundry detergent at work today. Bottle to mouth. In the isle. I said NOTHING but when we made eye contact she just gasped and was like
— tony tony tony (@toekneemah) July 29, 2018
‘IM GONNA BUY IT!’
BITCH IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU BUYING IT WTF ARE YOU DOING AGSJDKDHDH
13. It's Avril's world, we're just living in it.
he was a trader joe she said see you later joe
— continent creator (@roombahacker) August 1, 2018
14. Tell this little girl to sit the hell down
my 14 year old sister posted on snap “sucks to see someone else enjoying the man you built” LMAO
— lani (@kailaniskye) August 1, 2018
15. THIS BABY HAS NOT AGED.
Black don’t crack that baby still 2 months https://t.co/WM8IFtyFUT
— 🙏🏽 (@KINGJAYESON) July 31, 2018
16. With ranch, please.
server: “HI, my name is-“
— JSTJosh (@JoshJST) August 1, 2018
me, closing my menu: https://t.co/VgLJUcUqOp
17. The relatable content KKW was looking for
I feel you https://t.co/xWM9dqMdGe
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) August 1, 2018
18. I cackled.
I need a bf
— mattea (@aolanibani) July 30, 2018
B - billion
F - fucking dollars
19. SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
Stop getting rid of your pets because they aren’t what you expected Clifford was literally the smallest puppy and turned out to be a 30 FOOT RED DOG AND EMILY ELIZABETH STILL MADE IT WORK
— TAE (@itstae13) July 29, 2018
20. *Drops clipboard like a mic without giving any diagnosis and walks out of the room*
Asked my doctor why she practices with her maiden name & not her married name. Her response “cus my husband didnt go to med school” DANN SIS
— rav (@Doughbvy) July 30, 2018
Canada
Australia
