1. Precious.

The boys I nanny for just asked me where I work and I didnt have the heart to tell them their parents pay me to hang out with them so now they think I work at Chili’s

— bel (@bellalawtonn) June 12, 2018

2. RT to help this girl get rid of her stalker

my ex drunk called me 29 times tonight and left a voicemail that said, “if you tweet about me again we are done forever.”
So here i am. Fingers crossed.

— KG (@kkerrrigann) June 14, 2018

3. I aspire to get this level of happy

The most innocent video on the internet pic.twitter.com/HMSLbECgnB

— 🤔 (@lkigai_) June 9, 2018

4. PSA to all the people who tell you to just "get over it"

DEPRESSION: you can’t just drink tea and do a face mask and expect me to disappear

ME: *painting nails* haha what ?? cant hear you over all the Self Care

D: seek professional help

M: *puts lemon slice in my water* lmao bet

— ditch pony (@molly7anne) June 10, 2018

5. Wow who would have thought! We should all go vegan.

Being vegan has been so fucking easy, I literally just stare at the sun and I’m full. Thanks photosynthesis

— cowboy hehe (@tysonerickson_) June 12, 2018

6. Of course, there were IHOb tweets

International House of *barnacles* pic.twitter.com/lzmwSlwMUE

— Chelsea Black (@chelsblackbooty) June 12, 2018

7. ...upon IHOb tweets

Me: can I get a Coke

IHOB Waiter: is bepsi okay

— thomas🏳️‍🌈 (@Barknado69) June 12, 2018

8. Kids these days don't even know.

I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."

— Talk To The Hatter (@Talk_To_The_Hat) June 11, 2018

9. A VERY GOOD BOY

I saw this video on Facebook and it’s probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen omg I was smiling so hard pic.twitter.com/GBmmq0249t

— Shannon Poe (@PoeShannon) June 11, 2018

10. Petition to let this guy rename all animals.

I work with a guy from Mexico who doesn't speak a lot of English. A Canadian goose made a nest by one of the paddock gates and hissed at him while he was putting horses out. He comes back to us after and says, "I do not like the cobra chicken."

— what the heq (@bibliophileq) June 9, 2018

11. Same.

I wish i could say "?????????????????" in real life. It would be very useful.

— ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤalex (@ABlannar) June 9, 2018

12. He raises a valid point.

Gas is like $40/full tank

Carrots are like $1/pound

Ya boi is getting a horse.

— Fook. (@fookmusic) June 10, 2018

13. "Shhhhh. Just let it happen."

Well it was a nice lake day until my dog nearly drowned my sister pic.twitter.com/ttBMcrM4cA

— Holly M (@Holly_Monson) June 8, 2018

14. Honestly, fair.

told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??"

it's like, you know what, you're right, I'm cancelling my subscription.

— m. diane (@cULTMOTHER) June 11, 2018

15. Thank the lawd.

The “tattoos and piercings are unprofessional” generation is retiring soon thank god

— ☁️🧘🏾‍♀️☁️ (@jillymuhnilly) June 9, 2018

16. That is a good boss.

My boss texted me this video earlier and said “if you don’t like this, you’re fired.” pic.twitter.com/n9RTuPZeJs

— HobbitQueen (@H0bbitQueen) June 10, 2018

17. That's not what you're supposed to say when someone gives you ice cream? Oh.

I gave a little kid some frozen yogurt today at work, and his mom says “okay, what do you say?” And he looks me dead in the eyes and says “I love you” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

— frannie (@emmaaraphael) June 9, 2018