Here Are The 17 Best Tweets Of The Week!
1. Precious.
The boys I nanny for just asked me where I work and I didnt have the heart to tell them their parents pay me to hang out with them so now they think I work at Chili’s
— bel (@bellalawtonn) June 12, 2018
2. RT to help this girl get rid of her stalker
my ex drunk called me 29 times tonight and left a voicemail that said, “if you tweet about me again we are done forever.”
— KG (@kkerrrigann) June 14, 2018
So here i am. Fingers crossed.
3. I aspire to get this level of happy
The most innocent video on the internet pic.twitter.com/HMSLbECgnB
— 🤔 (@lkigai_) June 9, 2018
4. PSA to all the people who tell you to just "get over it"
DEPRESSION: you can’t just drink tea and do a face mask and expect me to disappear
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) June 10, 2018
ME: *painting nails* haha what ?? cant hear you over all the Self Care
D: seek professional help
M: *puts lemon slice in my water* lmao bet
5. Wow who would have thought! We should all go vegan.
Being vegan has been so fucking easy, I literally just stare at the sun and I’m full. Thanks photosynthesis
— cowboy hehe (@tysonerickson_) June 12, 2018
6. Of course, there were IHOb tweets
International House of *barnacles* pic.twitter.com/lzmwSlwMUE
— Chelsea Black (@chelsblackbooty) June 12, 2018
7. ...upon IHOb tweets
Me: can I get a Coke
— thomas🏳️🌈 (@Barknado69) June 12, 2018
IHOB Waiter: is bepsi okay
8. Kids these days don't even know.
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
— Talk To The Hatter (@Talk_To_The_Hat) June 11, 2018
9. A VERY GOOD BOY
I saw this video on Facebook and it’s probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen omg I was smiling so hard pic.twitter.com/GBmmq0249t
— Shannon Poe (@PoeShannon) June 11, 2018
10. Petition to let this guy rename all animals.
I work with a guy from Mexico who doesn't speak a lot of English. A Canadian goose made a nest by one of the paddock gates and hissed at him while he was putting horses out. He comes back to us after and says, "I do not like the cobra chicken."
— what the heq (@bibliophileq) June 9, 2018
11. Same.
I wish i could say "?????????????????" in real life. It would be very useful.
— ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤalex (@ABlannar) June 9, 2018
12. He raises a valid point.
Gas is like $40/full tank
— Fook. (@fookmusic) June 10, 2018
Carrots are like $1/pound
Ya boi is getting a horse.
13. "Shhhhh. Just let it happen."
Well it was a nice lake day until my dog nearly drowned my sister pic.twitter.com/ttBMcrM4cA
— Holly M (@Holly_Monson) June 8, 2018
14. Honestly, fair.
told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??"
— m. diane (@cULTMOTHER) June 11, 2018
it's like, you know what, you're right, I'm cancelling my subscription.
15. Thank the lawd.
The “tattoos and piercings are unprofessional” generation is retiring soon thank god
— ☁️🧘🏾♀️☁️ (@jillymuhnilly) June 9, 2018
16. That is a good boss.
My boss texted me this video earlier and said “if you don’t like this, you’re fired.” pic.twitter.com/n9RTuPZeJs
— HobbitQueen (@H0bbitQueen) June 10, 2018
17. That's not what you're supposed to say when someone gives you ice cream? Oh.
I gave a little kid some frozen yogurt today at work, and his mom says “okay, what do you say?” And he looks me dead in the eyes and says “I love you” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
— frannie (@emmaaraphael) June 9, 2018
