Here Are The 14 Funniest Tweets Of The Week!
1. Wait. No. Stop.
Me: OMG I love this song— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) September 19, 2018
Radio: should I play it again
Radio: fifteen times
Radio: every hour
Radio: for the next six months
Child: I can’t wait to be an adult.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) September 15, 2018
Me [tweezing my ear hairs after paying 42 credit card bills]: yeah it’s fantastic
3. It's ok if it's organic.
my organs: please give us some water we are literally shriveling, please.— king crissle (@crissles) September 17, 2018
me: *removes frosé from freezer*
4. Everyone's a critic.
[painting with my son]— The Dad (@thedad) September 19, 2018
Son: daddy did I do it right?
Me: son, this is art. There is no right or wrong, there’s just whoa what the fuck ok yeah that’s wrong
5. * applauds *
Family: Why would you get tattoos? They’re expensive and painful to get and they are PERMANENT!— ditch pony (@molly7anne) September 17, 2018
Also family: Have a baby :)
6. Thoughts and prayers!
To all the young boys out there:— Marie Connor (@thistallawkgirl) September 18, 2018
I’m heartbroken you are now growing up in a world where you are taught that your bad behavior today may have consequences in the future.
Thoughts and prayers!
7. On that note...
Told a bunch of jazz musicians to fuck off and now I'm on the sax offenders register— Dan (@ehdannyboy) September 17, 2018
everyone should be nice to me for one very big reason:— bby ghoul (@silkybean) September 15, 2018
Everyone hates millennials until it’s time to convert a PDF into a Word document— Sara Valentine (@saramvalentine) September 18, 2018
10. Clever girl...
My neighbor broke up w her bf and piled all his stuff on the curb and I just added a boxspring to it bc I've been meaning to get rid of it— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) May 5, 2017
11. Good to know.
peck up arteest advice tips how to woo of the lady:— birdsrightsactivist (@ProBirdRights) September 21, 2018
• head bob
• feathers PUFF
• hop hop hop hop hop hop hophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophophop
12. All in favor?
Got the side eye from the PTA president for mentioning there should be an open bar at next week’s fundraiser.— It'sReally10Months (@really10months) September 20, 2018
Calm down Carol. It’s not like I said we should do shots.
13. Achievement Unlocked
Other moms: “I got so much accomplished this weekend. It feels good to start the week organized!”— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 15, 2018
Me: “Cool. I watched 15 Hallmark movies & I wore the same outfit all weekend.”
14. Is this the real life? Is this just Geico?
I Will Survive- Gloria Gaynor pic.twitter.com/a0ISoWEGdo— dancing lizard (@dancinglizardd) September 17, 2018
That's all for now, folks.
Happy first week of fall!