10. So it would seem...

"Flowers and poetry are so outdated. These days, it's all about dick pics." -Dave_Davington

9. Something's blowing in the wind.

"Well you could always blow some divorce papers his way." -acmariner99

8. How Sinister

"someone didn't want you to make it to thirty it seems" -Justkidding100

7. It's all about timing.

"Pull out game is weak..." -Abbusser

6. Bad Form

"Generally bad form to attend meetings with a beer in your hand." -TheSminty1

5. #jealous

"Your boss is just jealous that he didn’t get a one night stand also." -Zekfen

4. Raccoon Lover

"This is cruel and unusual treatment! What would children think, seeing this poor abuse? Someone should be fined for this travesty! Cotton candy is a precious substance and should be enthusiastically eaten, rather than used to make fun of trash pandas." -corrupteddevil

3. Confused...

"I’m confused, you have a talking dog?" -Robert Harrison

2. Twofer

"Always take a sober friend with you. This whole incident could have been avoided with the words "That's not a dildo!"." -BurnInDemonFire

"Everything is a dildo if you're brave enough." -blightsight

1. True.

"You lay there, they bring you food and let you up to pee. Vague spectre of death around. Sounds like a nursing home." -PhoenixChick

META COMMENT BONUS ROUND

"Walking on eggshells in the Friend Zone? I’d rather take a wasp sting to the scrotum!" -RichardPencil

That's all for this week, folks! Which one was your favorite?

If you didn't make the list, don't be discouraged. Good comments will always slip through the cracks. Hopefully we'll catch you next week!