Log in
2
See the top FMLs

Here Are The 10 Funniest Comments Of The Week

By Chairman Meow / samedi 22 septembre 2018 11:00
You wrote. We laughed. Here are our favorites!

10. What are they feeding you?

Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 16 September 2018 13:00 /

"All I can picture is the Smelly Cat Friends episode... " -RJR

 

9. That's gotta hurt...

Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 20 September 2018 03:00 /

"Now the term "broke-ass" has a literal connotation!" -RichardPencil

 

8. ♥︎♥︎♥︎

"This is so romantic I can bearly stand it" -psjr

 

7. Twofer

"Have you tried not drinking?" -distortedcognition

"I hear death from dehydration is in this season" -xSphinx

 

6. Busted

Ball Is Life

Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 17 September 2018 12:00 /

"Your wife literally made you bust a nut." -geekynerd88

 

5. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

By Morgan Bailey - / Tuesday 18 September 2018 14:00 /

"Shrek said "Better out than in" but I don't think he meant to that extent. Do some laundry, and don't boo-poo about it OP!" -EILIABNMAD

 

4. Study A Broad

Today, I took my transfer student, who I am hosting for her year of study in America, to the doctor. It turns out that she is pregnant, and my teenage son is the father. FML

By Host grandfather - / Friday 21 September 2018 06:00 / United States - Tampa

"They’ve really expanded these educational exchange programs lately!" -pjsr

 

3. Be More Speciic...

"That's patheic" -PhoenixChick

 

2. Pun Intended

Today, while trying to hold the door open on an elevator, I managed to drop something down the elevator shaft. I'm blind, and the something was my white cane. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 17 September 2018 17:30 /

"You should see things are not looking good for you. Eye observe this is not a good sight for getting sympathy or helpful tips — just high brow comments we should just keep a lid on." -RichardPencil

 

1. Zing

Today, my family and I went to Olive Garden. Due to my autism, I sometimes have a nervous tic, which presented itself while I was looking at the menu. I would have appreciated it if my mom hadn't then screamed at me to stop in front of the entire restaurant. FML

By gunnar - / Thursday 20 September 2018 17:30 /

"I hear ya, I have a nervous tic everytime I go into Olive Garden. It makes me leave and go eat literally anywhere else." -PhoenixChick

 

META COMMENT BONUS ROUND

"He probably farts in the restaurants" -melisssa87

 

That's all for this week, folks! Thanks to all who brave downvotes, sass, and strife to keep our comment section lively and fun. Even if you've never made this list, your services are truely appreciated. May the jokesters outshine the negative nancies forever and always.

Best of luck for next week!

Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  BurnInDemonFire  |  23

"The Darwin Awards is a great book", you say? Based on your comment, you have no idea what the Darwin Awards are for, so I'm guessing it's a great book for you to use when propping up a wobbly table.

Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By  fde2blknimout  |  14

Anyone who uses puns like bearly is in line for the next darwin award and should not be humored into doing it again. But that is the real fml for those people. 😂. Also the darwin awards is a great book

Send a private message 0 8 Reply
Comments
By  fde2blknimout  |  14

Anyone who uses puns like bearly is in line for the next darwin award and should not be humored into doing it again. But that is the real fml for those people. 😂. Also the darwin awards is a great book

Send a private message 0 8 Reply
Reply
  BurnInDemonFire  |  23

"The Darwin Awards is a great book", you say? Based on your comment, you have no idea what the Darwin Awards are for, so I'm guessing it's a great book for you to use when propping up a wobbly table.

Send a private message 3 0 Reply
Similar
Nearly  
See all the Nearly FMLs
World
Loading data…
See all the World FMLs
Photos
See all FML photos
© Beta&cie, All rights reserved