Here Are 15 Delicious and Dramatic FMLs About Thanksgiving!
Today we officially ring in the holiday season with time-honored traditions like the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, football games, and turkey dinner. But behind its idyllic mask, Thanksgiving is actually one of the holidays most prone to FMLs.
Gathering family spells drama. FML. Roasting turkey, or worse, frying turkey. FML. Buttloads of food? You mean butt loads of poop. FML. There is an infinite number of things that can go wrong, and that’s why we’re here. To record it all for others to relate to. I mean whose Thanksgiving gathering isn’t fraught with passive aggression, creepy uncles, and plumbing problems?
1. Rookie mistake.
Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML
2. Kids these days.
3. Wonderful timing.
4. A Thanksgiving to remember.
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
5. Knock first.
Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML
6. Damnit Uncle Steve.
Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML
7. Grandpas say the darndest things.
Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML
8. Mom likes to micromanage.
Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML
9. Why Thanksgiving is the busiest day for plumbers.
Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML
11. Seems like one of the first things you would mention.
Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML