Here Are 10 Of The Funniest Comments From This Week!
“Good thing you weren't reading "Fahrenheit 451." The book would have been on fire!” -Glowworm56
9. A bit longer than what we normally look for, but this comment was great from start to finish.
Today, after spending 12 hours desperately searching everywhere I could think of, I'm forced to admit I left my wedding ring in the bathroom of the hotel suite we just spent our honeymoon in, on the literal other side of the planet. I am a dead man. FML
“Not to pile on but...Rookie! My first marriage I let my wife talk me into a $1500 platinum men's ring. Not sure where that is now but she probably got it along with my dignity in the divorce. Roll around to marriage #2. I told the wife I would get my ring and hers. Titanium $12.99 (Twelve dollars and 99 cents, you read that right). I actually bought a backup for when I eventually lose the original. Lessons: 1. Don't by an expensive ring (for her or you) 2. If you are guy, buy a backup and keep it somewhere she can't find it. In my house that is the oven.” -arhill6183
8. If you can't tell why this comment is funny, it's maybe time to go back to school.
Today, I bought a tail for my girlfriend to dress as a cat at a hen party. She put the box in her suitcase, then left to catch her plane. I checked my purchase history and realised it's a cat tail butt plug. Now she keeps ringing me, but I'm too chicken to answer the phone. FML
“Relax, you’re probably just analizing the situation all wrong.” -RichardPencil
7. Or on the black market? Time to check if all your organs are still there...
Today, I woke up from surgery to have my appendix removed, only to be told by my wife it didn’t happen because my appendix was healthy. It turns out my intense pain was a rancid fart that lasted nearly 10 whole seconds while I was asleep and cut open on the operating table. FML
“Did this happen in 1952?” -pjsr
6. "The weather is beautiful, wish you were here!"
Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML
“Send her a postcard! "Thanks for stopping by! Hope you enjoyed the view!" -chyiochan
“First glance on the striped Santa pants, I imagined Waldo sticking his hand out & waving & yelling "Here I am! Get me out of here!" - jkjorn
4. Oh, the irony.
“It's very rare to get an FML this ironic, seeing as not getting f***ed was the problem.” -ChakatBlackstar
3. Spongebob references FTW.
Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML
“Keep doing it over and over until it isn't funny anymore, then sing a song about it.” -devi_916
2. That is definitely why OP was upset.
“Ask her for some cookies and move on with your day” -usarmywife
1. Method acting.
“She clearly didn't read the script if she actually cleaned your teeth!” -tonyfan00
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
“Are these sold on the top shelf of the vagina zone?” -Donut_Wizard