FML: Spring Break Edition

The sun is out, the cherry blossoms have arrived, the Earth is being born anew, and you're in god-awful Florida vomiting on yourself.

Picture this: You are on the beach surrounded by thousands of other drunk college kids who, like you, are here to celebrate this time-honored tradition of debauchery. You are wearing some neon-colored swim thing and holding a yard glass of watered-down beer. Your wayfarers read "Corona," there are beads around your neck that say "Bud Light," and you have a temporary tattoo that says "Jose Cuervo." You're basically an ad for a liquor store.

The crowd roars. The woo-girls go, "WOOOOO!" the bros go, "BROOOOO!"

You lift your yard glass in the air and absent-mindedly spill beer in some girl's hair. She is unfazed. She has already vomitted twice today; beer-hair will not stop her. 

She is a warrior. You are all warriors; capable of withstanding an entire week of junk food, binge-drinking, sloppy hookups, and the absence of morality.

That's right, it's Spring Break. * 

*Just to be clear, this depiction is entirely based on my consumption of MTV Spring Break, Spring Breakers, and the final scenes of 22 Jump Street. In reality, I spent my spring breaks chillin' with my puppers at home. No shame.


But is spring break actually anything like this? According to these FMLs, apparently yes. For some of you, it may have already come and gone, but for many of you who are in the midst of it now, this selection of FMLs goes out to you, so you may remind yourself exactly how not to spend your spring break.


There you have it. 

So when you're off on spring break this year, try and keep this list in mind. Remember, while it may be fun to read FMLs, you don't necessarily want to live them. If you're planning to rage, keep yourself in check. If you have no plans and feel like you're missing out, you know, since social media makes you feel like you should be doing something crazy, remember these FMLs and the spring breakers of yore who probably had it worse than you.

If your spring break is already over, tell us what you did (or didn't do) in the comments below! Hearing from you makes our day!


By Nina / Monday 27 March 2017 12:05 / France
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