FML's Top 10 Comments of the Week
10. Tit for tat, eh, catkat1988?
Today, I confronted my neighbor because he'd been telling my kids that global warming was a myth. He responded with, "Whine all you want, but the swamp is draining and your bullshit liberal narrative is finally going down." He then dumped his trash on my lawn and retreated to his house. FML
“Get your revenge - tell his kids ALL about evolution! Or even better - let them know that the Earth is actually round!”
9. Lalala579121 is right, too damn cute indeed.
Today, I celebrated my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. Since I'm bad at writing, I took a list from the internet titled "100 Things That I Love About You" and gave it to him to read while I read what he wrote for me. It was exactly the same thing, taken from the same page. FML
“I thought FML was for complaining about how bad your SO is, not showing off how cute your relationship is.”
8. That's a handy skill, Glowworm56.
“'I'm bilingual. Meow!'”
7. Nice observation, pirate prude.
“I find it oddly comforting that even NASA uses unnecessary quotation marks.”
6. A heartwarming chain of puns from CrazyTrainWreck, J352SAURUS, and Cali.
Today, I wanted to pack my lunch with some of my homemade meatloaf leftover from last night's dinner, but I couldn't find it anywhere in my fridge. Later in the evening, my boyfriend's parents invited us over for dinner. They served meatloaf. The meatloaf they stole from my fridge last night when they visited. FML
“Well that is one way to meat the parents.”
“Get a loaf of this guy. So punny and original!”
“So punny! I loaf you guys.”
5. A round of applause for RichardPencil.
“Everyone in the world who has had food stolen stood up and cheered, then orgasmed, then peed themselves! We wept as if to say to Cosmic Justice, "What took you so long?"
4. It's so obvious, isn't it, Poultron?
Today, my phone ran out of space, so I downloaded an app to store all my photos online. After everything transferred, I deleted the 1,000+ photos from my phone, along with the "recently deleted" file since it was also taking up space. The app is now empty of all "downloaded photos". FML
“Is this a round-about way of asking for more dick-pics? ?”
3. Toot your horn for tonyfan00!
Today, I was wrapping up my move in a 16-foot truck with my car in tow. Google rerouted me to avoid traffic... through a state park. The road had only one lane. I can still hear the phalanx of cars honking at me. FML
2. That's a knee-slapper, davek.
“Tell him to, ahem, go fuck himself...”
1. A little confidence never hurt anyone, just ask Lobby_Bee.
“I'll drift that, easy.”
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
What a great idea, RichardPencil!
“Time to get him a PornHub account.”