By Louis - France - Paris FML's Shitty Monday Monday is FML's favorite day. Check out a typical start to the week. 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - France Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML I agree, your life sucks 34501 You deserved it 3287 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SoSoRachel - United States - Dunlap Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML I agree, your life sucks 27267 You deserved it 1860 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By animal lover... Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML I agree, your life sucks 47778 You deserved it 4025 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cakegirl - United States Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML I agree, your life sucks 58107 You deserved it 3785 217 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Guess I was wrong - 16/3/2020 06:23 Mistaken identity Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1616 You deserved it 360 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazytown62 - United States Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML I agree, your life sucks 27271 You deserved it 6525 305 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jasonvanr - South Africa - Pretoria Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML I agree, your life sucks 13675 You deserved it 1512 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jrlloyd013 - United States Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML I agree, your life sucks 9790 You deserved it 41750 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I'm screwed - Canada - Calgary Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 28535 You deserved it 3482 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By annonymous - United States Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML I agree, your life sucks 36211 You deserved it 2692 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WorkerBee Today, I found out I didn't get accepted into a program I was nominated to attend at work that all other applicants with less experience than myself did. I found out when they asked if I had gotten the acceptance email. They didn't even bother telling me I was rejected. FML I agree, your life sucks 1944 You deserved it 154 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ineedsleep - Finland - J?rvenp Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML I agree, your life sucks 33624 You deserved it 2741 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML I agree, your life sucks 12466 You deserved it 104439 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awkward - Finland Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML I agree, your life sucks 52630 You deserved it 4042 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Itstinksinhere Today, my husband thought it was the best idea ever to clean the cat's litter box with the brand new vacuum cleaner instead of tipping it into a bin bag. My house now fills with the smell of warm cat piss every time I hoover. FML I agree, your life sucks 3525 You deserved it 380 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Goodtimes Trust Today, I had to dump my girlfriend because of tons of trust issues that kept reappearing. Shortly afterwards, my credit card disappeared and I got to experience my first identity theft. All within 24 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 1683 You deserved it 117 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Screwupify - United States Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 47725 You deserved it 7236 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jan - United States - Ann Arbor Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML I agree, your life sucks 33158 You deserved it 4290 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By namehere34 - United States Today, I found a diamond on the floor, which I could only assume was from one of my brother's cheap earrings. I was positive that it was fake. To prove it to myself, I ran it across my window, as they say only real diamonds cut glass. It's real. FML I agree, your life sucks 8456 You deserved it 42255 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleepy momma - United States - Altoona Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML I agree, your life sucks 55723 You deserved it 6492 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sexyconvo - United States Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML I agree, your life sucks 23368 You deserved it 7313 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By foreveryoung - France Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML I agree, your life sucks 13832 You deserved it 3258 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Malta - Qormi Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML I agree, your life sucks 47080 You deserved it 5955 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SeverelyAnnoyed - Netherlands Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 18453 You deserved it 1125 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML I agree, your life sucks 48808 You deserved it 3414 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML I agree, your life sucks 27275 You deserved it 4205 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By That guy - United States - Mansfield Today, I was told that every week the grocery store I work for has a "mystery customer" who shops throughout the store and rates us. Our store has gotten straight 100s for the past two years, and I ruined their streak. Apparently, I was the worst they've ever seen. FML I agree, your life sucks 12489 You deserved it 3506 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotTheFavoriteChild Today, I asked my mom if she wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me today. She reluctantly said, "I guess". I showered, shaved and did my hair and makeup. When I came downstairs, she hadn't even brushed her teeth yet. "I'm just lacking motivation to go," she said. Glad you're so excited too. FML I agree, your life sucks 20310 You deserved it 1566 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I'm donnnneeee - United States - Slidell Today, I finished a 6-part project. It took me 7 hours of straight work because my partner decided I should do it alone. I then learned that the reason my partner did not help me was because the teacher e-mailed the leader of every group, saying the project was cancelled. FML I agree, your life sucks 26473 You deserved it 2406 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ... - France Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML I agree, your life sucks 8904 You deserved it 70039 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarahfizzeller - United States Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML I agree, your life sucks 34552 You deserved it 3352 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bloody_hell - United States - Elkhart Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML I agree, your life sucks 34506 You deserved it 5211 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML I agree, your life sucks 12961 You deserved it 29082 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML I agree, your life sucks 28759 You deserved it 2169 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anna L. - United States - San Antonio Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML I agree, your life sucks 36076 You deserved it 6537 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By O_o - United States - Simi Valley Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML I agree, your life sucks 59079 You deserved it 6648 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TOOshort Today, several of my apartment complex neighbors walked right by me as I struggled to clean the inches thick, icy snow off of my SUV. I’m 4’11. Not one person offered to assist me, even after I slipped and fell several times. FML I agree, your life sucks 1490 You deserved it 2145 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chels Plebs need not apply. Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML I agree, your life sucks 3774 You deserved it 822 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ItSucks - United States Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML I agree, your life sucks 42726 You deserved it 7519 244 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Winnipeg Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML I agree, your life sucks 45567 You deserved it 4871 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 646 You deserved it 145 7 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1108 You deserved it 58 6 Comments