2
BLOG

FML Quiz Numbuh 2 - Test your FML knowledge with this 10-question challenge!

Operation Q.U.I.Z. - Qualitative User Interrogation Zone. Your mission? Fill in the missing sections of these FMLs using your deep site knowledge, deductive reasoning, and personal experience. Good luck, operatives. You'll need it.
By Cali / Tuesday 28 March 2017 16:56 /

Ready to test your mettle against fellow FMLers? Too bad, because this is judged on an honor system. Comment below with your results to let the world know how you did!

Let us begin.

1) Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part?

  1. The video my brother took of it has already gotten 40 likes on Facebook. FML
  2. My groaning excited my husband, who was then upset that I didn't want to get frisky. FML
  3. I had just put it there, against my mom's advice, so that I could reach it more easily from the bed. FML
  4. My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

2) Today, I was at the Polish border when I found my passport was gone. I contacted the last place I stayed at and the owner said he would handle it. I reluctantly agreed as I was being charged international rates. Apparently, "taking care of it" means...

  1. sending it by snail-mail to the border patrol office. It'll arrive next week. FML
  2. telling the embassy I'm retarded. FML
  3. emailing me a blurry photo and calling it a day. FML
  4. hand-delivering it 5 hours later and expecting a 300 € tip. FML 

3) Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on...

  1. her favorite movie, Frozen, the best man will be dressed as Olaf, and the vows talk about how "for the first time in forever" she'll be able to just "let it go". Apparently, it's mentally first, then physically. FML
  2. bondage/BDSM, the best man will be dressed as a dominatrix, and the vows talk about life's power struggles. Apparently, our bedroom kinks are going to become a family photo album. FML
  3. one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML
  4. a vaping pothead video from her favorite youtubers. The best man will be dressed in "chub n' tuck" fashion (head-to-toe pot leaves, essentially) and the vows talk about representing the "vape naysh" by ripping fat clouds and appreciating the healing powers of bud. Apparently, I'm a square for not going along with it. FML

4) Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I...

  1. "licked a chocolate lollipop". FML
  2. "had a snake in my boot". FML
  3. "drained the swamp". FML
  4. "ate a black anaconda". FML

5) Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because...

  1. he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML
  2. he didn't go to church as a kid. FML
  3. he has a pitbull. FML
  4. he was in a rock band in college. FML

6) Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to...

  1. find a pink slip. They're firing me. FML
  2. trip and break my hip. I can't work for at least a month. FML
  3. get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML
  4. overhear coworkers talking about how the boss is giving the job to his son. FML

7) Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear...

  1. "Try not to swallow my future grandkids." FML
  2. "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML
  3. "You kids would make the cutest babies!" FML
  4. "Don't think that you have to let him in the back door just because it's his birthday." FML

8) Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some...

  1. cracked gambling app with guaranteed wins. FML
  2. non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML
  3. high quality movie downloads. We have cable, Netflix, and Hulu. FML
  4. Rule 34 content based on his favorite cartoons. FML 

9) Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process...

  1. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML
  2. My brother, standing next to her, did nothing but chuckle. FML
  3. When I confronted her about it, her sons rushed to her defense and tried to fight me. The cops were called. FML
  4. My poor father heard her and was immediately reduced to tears. She refused to admit it / apologize. FML

10) Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit...

  1. his expensive bike, bending the frame. FML
  2. our senile old cat. She needs a cast. FML
  3. my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
  4. the same shop-vac. FML

Have you got your answers? Are you sure of yourself, operative? Scroll through the countdown to check your results!

(drumroll please)

tl;dr - D B C D A C B B A C

 

By cestquoicebordel?? - / Tuesday 14 August 2012 22:50 / France
By Craigslist is Evil. / Tuesday 24 September 2013 18:12 / United States - Dickson
By Anonymous - / Sunday 22 March 2015 09:52 / United States - Las Vegas
By bb / Wednesday 3 October 2012 16:19 / United States - Hillsborough
By Joe - / Monday 19 October 2009 04:32 / Cambodia
By Anonymous - / Friday 13 June 2014 22:06 / Australia - Melbourne

Congratulations! You wasted 10 minutes of your life! 

Just kidding. Kind of.

So how did you do? Was this quiz any better or worse than last week's? (Say "better" - I have to assert my dominance as quiz lord over Nina.) Let us know in the comments!

Until next week,

Cali ♡

 

Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  Cali  |  37

I like you.

Comments
Reply
  Cali  |  30

I like you.

Loading data…