Dutch Man Wants To Legally Change Age
(AP Photo / Peter Dejong)
It sounds insane, but he's getting his day in court for this.
Emile Ratelband, a 69-year-old Dutch tv personality, is trying to legally reduce his age by 20 years. He insists that if he feels and looks 49, he should be allowed to live that way legally. According to him, being 69 has some serious disadvantages.
"I feel I suffer under my age. When I ask for a mortgage, for example, they say it's impossible," he told the Associated Press. "If I go on Tinder, then I get women from 68, 69 when those women are there. I don't want to lie. I want to be myself, so don't force me to lie."
Is that it? If he gets to change his age, he'll get better results on Tinder? He's already married and has several children, but apparently he's not done yet.
"When I'm really 49 again, I will have a baby again. I will buy a new car again. I will paint my house again. I'm going outside and I invest my money again. Because now I'm [an] old man, I have to save my money to give to my kids so they can live, but if I have that age again I have hope again. I am new again. The whole future is there for me again."
Inspiring, but frankly pretty ridiculous. Acting younger won't make you die any later! If you want to do all those things, just do them!
So why is the government humoring his late-life crisis? Well, he's made them an offer they might not be able to refuse. He's agreed to delay his pension for 20 years if they allow him the 20-year rollback on his birth certificate. Over the two decades, this would amount to $300,000. What if others follow suit? The Dutch government might find a freaky cash cow in allowing pensioners to alter their legal age!
We all know you can't turn back time, but Ratelband is keeping his fingers crossed for the next four weeks until his judgment will be passed down.
When things get this weird, we like to think that the world ended in 2012 and this is all just a simulation. Have a good weekend!