For those of you pooling bets on how long we’d make it in 2018 before Trump tweeted something recklessly unpresidential and dangerous to American security, we’re officially calling it on January 2nd. We made it almost two full days into the year before Trump responded to Kim Jong-Un’s statement that "the entire United States is within range of our nuclear weapons, a nuclear button is always on my desk," with this taunting tweet:

North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 3, 2018

That’s right, baby. Bigger, more powerful, and fully functional. Or is it?

Besides getting “nuclear button” trending on Twitter and riling up politicians, activists, celebrities, and civilians who were appalled by such a dangerous taunt and childish reaction, the jokes started flooding in immediately.

TRUMP: So this button launches a nuclear warhead?
GEN. KELLY [handing him a Staples Easy! button with the word BOMB scrawled across it in Sharpie]: Absolutely

— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) January 3, 2018

I too have a button. I will outbutton any man

— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) January 3, 2018

Hopefully someone has already set Donald Trump’s nuclear button to Airplane Mode

— Palmer Report (@PalmerReport) January 3, 2018

World leaders, time to modernize — my Nuclear Button is voice controlled. Peasants push buttons.

— Cobra Commander (@CobraCommander) January 3, 2018

Some people noted how his words were less suited for a president than for another profession, such as YouTuber…or Supreme Commander of Imperial Forces?

whats up youtube this is president trump back at it again just found this big ass nuclear button in the oval office gonna press it and see what happens haha remember to subscribe and leave a comment if you're feeling crazy lol

— leon ? (@leyawn) January 3, 2018

Rebel Leader General Organa just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on her desk at all times.” Will someone from her depleted and food starved regime please inform her that I have a Death Star Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than hers, and my Button works!

— Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) January 3, 2018

And of course, the most obvious joke...

DID YOU GET THE DOUBLE MEANING THERE

WHEN I SAY BUTTON I'M ACTUALLY REFERRING TO SOMETHING ELSE

SOMETHING THAT ISN'T A BUTTON

IN MY PANTS

IT'S MY GENITALS (PENIS) https://t.co/eNL2QEgary

— Simon Maloy (@SimonMaloy) January 3, 2018

Any man that says
“My button is bigger than yours!”
Has a tiny button.

— Christopher Titus (@TitusNation) January 3, 2018

Trump says his button works, too! Impressive for a man of his age.

My nuclear button is small, but thick.

— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) January 3, 2018

My nuclear button is long & girthy. It always gets the job done ?

— SLiME DADDY (@FRONZ1LLA) January 3, 2018

And of course, an oldie but a goodie: the hands.

the button probably just looks bigger by comparison pic.twitter.com/M58GF1DJgh

— social media pants (@nick_pants) January 3, 2018

I hear you can judge the size of a man's "nuclear button" by the size of his hands... #ManyPeopleAreSaying pic.twitter.com/YYxwvVPCV6

— Caroline O. (@RVAwonk) January 3, 2018

At least most dudes are pretty bad at finding the button.

— Kashana (@kashanacauley) January 3, 2018

Before everyone freaked out, some people stepped in to fact-check Trump’s tweet and remind us all that Trump’s so-called ‘nuclear button’ doesn’t actually exist.

Trump does not actually have a nuclear “button,” big or small. The codes are in the famous briefcase. What he does have is a button to summon Diet Coke. https://t.co/wqAFiZbG4o

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) January 3, 2018

There is no button https://t.co/1EutI5ftrh

— Washington Post (@washingtonpost) January 3, 2018

He does have one button on his desk, though, and let’s not forget it.

Is it right next to the Diet Coke button? Please be careful! https://t.co/Up9cBuXT4f

— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) January 3, 2018

Either way means death. The Diet Coke option is just slower.

— edgarwright (@edgarwright) January 3, 2018

If this is any indication of how 2018 is going to go, looks like we at FML will have plenty of material to work with. For the rest of you, maybe it’s time to start thinking about finally relocating overseas.