Work: Boo!

Boo!

By HauntLife - 21/09/2017 20:00

Today, rehearsals started for the haunted house I act in. As we were running through the house and reading through our lines, the set designer turned on the hydraulic pump to test something, accidentally causing a tumbling bookshelf effect to go off. Guess where I was standing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 199

Work

Good kid

Walk the line

Working from home rules!

By baby shak - 14/01/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 702

You deserved it 6 261

By burrrito_ - 04/11/2016 00:39 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I found out why you depressurize your espresso maker before changing out the coffee grinds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 617

You deserved it 3 041

By disgusted - 13/12/2015 07:45 - United States - Logan

Today, I confessed to my coworker that I'm interested in her romantically. She turned me down, saying that I'm a great guy, but that she basically doesn't want mixed-race children. She said she isn't racist, though, so I guess it's all okay, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 848

You deserved it 3 290

By faded as shit - 27/09/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 497

You deserved it 5 330

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 105

You deserved it 12 771

The best cat

By Nyxilia - 07/12/2019 17:00 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, those are too common. He scratched my hole, and it was very exciting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 625

By zzdug - 08/02/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 019

You deserved it 5 865

By Noname - 09/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 588

You deserved it 2 925

By Whateversz - 24/07/2010 19:59 - Netherlands

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 977

You deserved it 3 723

YDI Fosho

By shuffling man - 12/08/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 328

You deserved it 3 880

By bosslady12 - 21/12/2011 18:10 - United States

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 073

You deserved it 3 295

By kill me - 31/01/2009 15:30 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 114

You deserved it 8 736

By Uhmm... - 13/05/2011 23:06 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 872

You deserved it 4 278

By Ihadnoidea - 12/12/2015 19:41 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 321

You deserved it 7 044

By redneckfamily - 24/05/2013 07:06 - United States - Roy

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 927

You deserved it 3 659

By Anonymous - 14/05/2013 22:41

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 612

You deserved it 3 625

By anonymous - 18/02/2012 22:07 - United States

Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 656

You deserved it 26 049

By Mulee - 07/03/2009 12:03 - Belgium

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 313

You deserved it 167 708

By CorCelesti - 02/06/2014 14:00 - United States

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 790

You deserved it 4 683

By wooed - 03/12/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 482

You deserved it 9 011

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 554

You deserved it 4 554

Belch monster

By gross - 23/05/2021 02:00

Today, while on a date with an amazing guy, I burped. He called me a disgusting pig and immediately left. I have burped a total of three times in my life and have therefore never learned how to control it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 221

Nosaurus

By bibi - 19/03/2012 23:43 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 561

You deserved it 2 679

By Chucho - 01/09/2012 13:58 - United States - Boston

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 512

You deserved it 3 637

By Anonymous - 15/01/2015 15:12 - United States

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 268

You deserved it 5 311

By GrannyAt22 - 22/06/2010 01:28 - Canada

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 889

You deserved it 26 823

Slipping

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 20:01

Today, I called one of my coworkers to ask him where he was, because I needed him to come downstairs. After 2 minutes of yelling on the phone to come downstairs, I realized I'd called the wrong person, and was actually on the phone with my ex-boyfriend, who took me 6 months to get over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 906

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 11:09

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 54

By stdpositivenow - 18/10/2011 14:16 - United States

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 601

You deserved it 5 088

By Anonymous - 28/03/2012 16:01 - United States - Port Townsend

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 353

You deserved it 11 966

By CA - 08/10/2015 14:46 - Norway

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 510

You deserved it 1 607

By chicagobulls102 - 10/09/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 686

You deserved it 2 783

Still alive?

By Anonymous - 07/01/2020 01:00

Today, after finally having the guts to confess to a guy I have liked for a year now and him saying he also likes me and then asking me out, I went out of my way and traveled 4 hours to meet him. He didn't show up and never apologized. I never heard anything from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 275

By ApparentlyEmo - 18/02/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 811

You deserved it 2 081

By jruth7 - 15/05/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 840

You deserved it 3 655

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 11:00 - Germany - Dornum

Today, I created a shared album with over a 1000 pictures and videos from a romantic vacation with my girlfriend of 3 months. Later, I got an angry text from my ex. It seems I accidentally added everything to a shared work-related album with my ex, which I didn't realise I had. My ex thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 468

By Anonymous - 14/01/2012 00:09 - Sweden

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 995

You deserved it 15 191

By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 07:09 - Australia

Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 205

You deserved it 3 701

By lolzor - 12/03/2009 12:07 - Australia

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 451

You deserved it 105 943

By Anonymous - 18/05/2013 19:27 - Mexico - Celaya

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 352

You deserved it 5 088

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Top comments

Donut_Wizard 23

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Thursday 21 September 2017 20:07

My preschool teacher lied! Books are not our friends.

Glowworm56 25

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Thursday 21 September 2017 23:01

If this keeps up, you might actually be haunting that house for real!

Comments

Lobby_Bee 17

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Thursday 21 September 2017 20:07

Why were you standing on the bookshelf?

davecross 11

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Thursday 21 September 2017 20:19

Pretty sure she was under the bookshelf

Donut_Wizard 23

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Thursday 21 September 2017 20:07

My preschool teacher lied! Books are not our friends.

BranMuffinator 15

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Thursday 21 September 2017 20:25

t9ulj5jk much

Fritterzz 13

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Thursday 21 September 2017 20:34

Workman's comp!!!

RichardPencil 30

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Thursday 21 September 2017 20:37

In the bushes? On the set designer? On your head? Please tell us! I’m flummoxed!

ARISKomuniszt 24

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Thursday 21 September 2017 22:30

Makes it seem more realistic imo xD

Glowworm56 25

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Thursday 21 September 2017 23:01

If this keeps up, you might actually be haunting that house for real!

awildwhisper 30

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Friday 22 September 2017 16:24

It sounds like you just helped discover a health hazard anyways. People shouldn't walk near falling books or bookcases (or any uncontrolled falling object) in a haunted house tour in case someone gets hurt. Maybe include safety stops for falling objects or don't include them at all.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 6

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 13

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 164