- FML

By FML Approved - France - Paris

I agree, your life sucks

1544

You deserved it

232

Favorite

Out of it

Season finale

Like the beginning of a porno

By myrkes - Switzerland - Marstetten

Today, it's the day before my friends' wedding. My dress has not yet been shipped from the online shop where I ordered it three weeks ago, the hand-crafted gift that was ordered last month is trapped at customs and my cats have just managed to open the drawer and eat the wedding card. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28047

You deserved it

3008

Favorite

By klv8 - United States

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48609

You deserved it

3545

Favorite

By Anonymous

LOL AWKS

Today, I decided to finally tell my name to this really hot guy I had been anonymously chatting with for a couple of weeks. He said he would be fine with whoever I am, and want to go out with me. After sending my name, there was a long, awkward pause, and his last reply to me was, "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1741

You deserved it

279

Favorite

By anonymous

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9388

You deserved it

44226

Favorite

By Katrina - 22/9/2020 20:02 - United States - Phoenix

People are dingdongs

Today, a guest came to the front desk and pretended to have a gun under his shirt while demanding passes to the water park. He was shocked when I had security remove him - he thought it was a funny joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1374

You deserved it

Favorite

By laundry day again... - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45640

You deserved it

3518

Favorite

By ldrik1 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45061

You deserved it

4775

Favorite

By Lonely_Army - Qatar

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26440

You deserved it

3128

Favorite

By jonasister - Sweden - Lund

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44219

You deserved it

3264

Favorite

By scaredypants123 - United States

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38336

You deserved it

9100

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1472

You deserved it

216

Favorite

By Mary Kathryn - United States - Fremont

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27119

You deserved it

6536

Favorite

By Anon - Australia

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36105

You deserved it

14465

Favorite

By Victor - United States

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11618

You deserved it

59118

Favorite

By sweetjulie

Today, and for the past week, my 5-year-old daughter has been introducing herself as “Mazda. Zoom-zoom!” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1334

You deserved it

264

Favorite

By camerashyguy - United States - Longview

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36809

You deserved it

8864

Favorite

By starfishedasshole - United States

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49898

You deserved it

4328

Favorite

By Bratty son - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12352

You deserved it

59314

Favorite

By Justaddwater - France

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25457

You deserved it

3234

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35430

You deserved it

5089

Favorite

By blahblah - United States - Richardson

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28376

You deserved it

35647

Favorite

By mandieee

Today, I had my first shift as a server at a restaurant after getting stuck behind an accident and arriving late, apologizing profusely. Apparently no one knew I'd been hired but I was still yelled at for tardiness. They then made me clean a fridge for 4 hours and paid me in pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4133

You deserved it

369

Favorite

By bigblue51 - United States

Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14411

You deserved it

47994

Favorite

By tripleBBB

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1658

You deserved it

2535

Favorite

By nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39212

You deserved it

6186

Favorite

By blabla - France

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22267

You deserved it

4709

Favorite

By funyfunkid - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10113

You deserved it

47754

Favorite

By bitchasaurusrex - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35356

You deserved it

3390

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - La Porte

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27850

You deserved it

6269

Favorite

By notsohandy - Denmark - Hadsten

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69726

You deserved it

8096

Favorite

By rbeast - United States

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47582

You deserved it

4140

Favorite

By mel - United States

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58781

You deserved it

15715

Favorite

By anon - United States - York

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26406

You deserved it

3094

Favorite

By mottephobe - United States - Carlsbad

Today, after days of cleaning out pantry cabinets and throwing away infested food, I thought I had finally gotten rid of my moth problem. Then I vacuumed, and saw several dozen larvae coming out of my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24224

You deserved it

3093

Favorite

By Heknowsnothing - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got my giant Game of Thrones tattoo finished. Despite the fact that I had spelt it out for him, the artist wrote 'You no nothing John Snow'. It's the focal part of the tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12262

You deserved it

6813

Favorite

By VacationTSA - United States

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50735

You deserved it

4176

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47396

You deserved it

2802

Favorite

By jodibut - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36615

You deserved it

8012

Favorite

By forever alone

Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1913

You deserved it

775

Favorite

By Derek

Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4880

You deserved it

267

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By BiGTiMeNeRD | 29

#7516093 - Monday 31 July 2017 21:12

Wtf is this?

By OrchidKitten | 21

#7516556 - Tuesday 1 August 2017 2:58

Pretty sure it's a joke on how some people will say everything is fine when in reality they're going through a hard time.

COMMENTS

By BiGTiMeNeRD | 29

#7516093 - Monday 31 July 2017 21:12

Wtf is this?

OrchidKitten | 21

#7516556 - Tuesday 1 August 2017 2:58

Pretty sure it's a joke on how some people will say everything is fine when in reality they're going through a hard time.

By utzdman55 | 20

#7517418 - Tuesday 1 August 2017 16:47

*Narrator has Morgan Freeman’s voice*

By Sceptic59 | 3

#7525696 - Monday 7 August 2017 12:16

What is this talking about? This is meaningless.