All Aboard The FML Express

Today we'll be stopping in Luxembourg, Japan, Indonesia, Cameroon, and Germany. Pretty cool train, huh? Goes super fast and across oceans. Technology these days, man.

Birthday Bolognese.

By Anonyme - 17/4/2016 06:10 - Luxembourg

Today, my sister insisted on taking a picture of her plate of pasta “to show her friends what an unworthy family we are”. It was only after she put a candle on her plate that we realized we forgot her birthday. All of us. FML

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478

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Camouflage game on point.

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By Anonyme - 25/3/2016 03:52 - Japon - Tokyo

Today, I tried a photo booth that automatically whitens skin. Being naturally very pale, the machine whitened me so much that my face merged with the white background. FML

I agree, your life sucks

872

You deserved it

128

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First comes love, then comes marriage, but first - a quickie in this bush.

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By Anonyme - 3/12/2015 06:22 - Indonesia

Today, in Indonesia, while being driven around on a motorcycle, the rider told me that he was in love with me, and that he was very rich. He offered me the equivalent of 7 euros in exchange for my services in a nearby bush. FML

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876

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Experimenting is healthy.

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By anonyme62 - 13/4/2015 09:51 - Cameroon - Ringo

Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long time, but as I also needed to go, I went to check on him. He was trying to urinate into the condom, “just to see what it was like.” FML

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699

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Close enough.

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By baguette - 2/9/2014 23:32 - Germany - Minden

Today, I've been living in Germany for several weeks now. My classmates still cannot pronounce my name: Clémence. Instead they call me, “Baguette.” FML

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712

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By Nina / Monday 12 June 2017 11:29 / France

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Top comments

By CrazyTrainWreck | 19

#7469899 - Tuesday 13 June 2017 20:10

Can I be the engineer on the FML express?

By Nina | 32

#7470101 - Wednesday 14 June 2017 10:01

I know you're a pro and all, but your username is a little foreboding. This is FML though, so I'm gonna say fuck it, why not. You are now officially the pun king and FML Express engineer! All hail.

Comments

By CrazyTrainWreck | 19

#7469899 - Tuesday 13 June 2017 20:10

Can I be the engineer on the FML express?

Nina | 32

#7470101 - Wednesday 14 June 2017 10:01

I know you're a pro and all, but your username is a little foreboding. This is FML though, so I'm gonna say fuck it, why not. You are now officially the pun king and FML Express engineer! All hail.