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By Sophie Spielman / Monday 7 January 2019 10:00 / United States - Kennebunk
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By  404wan  |  11

any extreme sexual kink will fuck with your relationship if not shared. doesn't even need a childhood trauma. apparently his kink was more important to him than a loving relationship, you dont need someone like that.

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By  404wan  |  11

any extreme sexual kink will fuck with your relationship if not shared. doesn't even need a childhood trauma. apparently his kink was more important to him than a loving relationship, you dont need someone like that.

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  TxKitten79  |  7

Kinks are sexual needs. And if your partner doesnt share it, it doesnt mean you dont want a loving relationship, it means your partner can't meet your needs and you aren't sexually compatible. Does it suck for OP? Of course. And she deserves love and trust. But to deny your needs only leads to sexual frustration and resentment of your partner. I could never be happy with someone who couldn't meet my needs, and everyone deserves that fulfillment. The fact that it took the boyfriend two months to end it, shows he thought about it a lot before making the decision. Sometimes the person we feel we want right now is not the right person long term. I sympathize with both the OP and her former BF on this one.

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  PenguinPal3017  |  16

Sexual needs are real. I don't blame someone for having their sexual needs as a relationship requirement.

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  Quasita  |  22

Considering the time he took, and his "no explanation," I'd guess that he actually acted in a loving fashion. If he knows that it's a dealbreaker, but has no desire to hurt his partner because he knows that their inability to participate is part of a deep and incredibly painful past event, it's better to simply leave than add to that trauma. Maybe it seems cold, but they do say that it's often best to make the clean break, to not give the reasons, just to say it's over and to leave... Otherwise, you create insecurities, scars, reasons to argue, reasons to believe "Maybe if I just change, it could be better"...

By  Red Swingle  |  5

sex is too important to some people i hear... If he was telling you about his kink and I presume he really wanted to do it with you then you tell him no and he dips... idk the kink but if he can't fulfill his sexual desires then it's good he left. it's pretty toxic for some relationships if it's a major thing. sooner the better. good riddance. especially if it's daddy/daughter or daddy little then you dodged a MAJOR bullet.

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  TxKitten79  |  7

Why did she dodge a bullet if it was a Daddy/little link? This is why people in those relationships and other alternative lifestyles often hide it. Because the vanilla community is very uniformed, closed minded, and judgemental.

By  siggy_mcsigx  |  18

Sexual compatibility is important. Neither partner should be unfulfilled OR pressured. It hurts now but it may be what's for the best going forward for both of you, OP.

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  PenguinPal3017  |  16

I agree. It's a shame that this wasn't discovered earlier, but it's what happened.

By  KittyMack  |  11

It was shitty of him to not give you closure by discussing his reasons for breaking up with you.
And I'm sure this feels a bit like you're being punished for having been victimized in the past.
But bottom line: Sound like this issue was a dealbreaker for you both. So things just could not work between you. That sucks but it's just how life goes. Better that one of you "ripped off the bandaid fast" rather than drag out the demise of the relationship over months or years.
Hopefully in the near future, you'll be with your dream guy and thinking how lucky you are that Mr Weirdkink set you free.

By  KaD6  |  16

Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that has extreme sexual practices that make you uncomfortable in the first place? Try someone normal.

By  WeirdUS  |  25

Sexual needs are very real that being said though if those needs are making unsafe choices there are larger issues. In my experience someone overly focused sexually ignores other aspects of the relationship is probably not emotionally healthy for long term.

By  BloodyButUnbowed  |  22

If there was an entire month between that conversation and the breakup, they may not have been related.

Even if we assume they were, I think you're better off this way. Don't you deserve someone who understands that your well-being matters more than his "kink"?

By  juuuliaaa_fml  |  19

keep your chin up. Someone better is out there for you. I know from experience.

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