19 Crazy College Stories That Will Put Yours To Shame
R.A.'s have some crazy stories. Stories that make you wonder how these people were admitted into college at all. These confessions, which were put together by Buzzfeed, were simply too good not to share. Check out these 19 R.A. horror stories, and if you've got your own, let us know in the comments below.
1. "I was in study hall when a resident poked his head in to ask why it looked like Niagara Falls in the hallway. I rushed out to see water gushing from the ceiling! When I turned to head upstairs, I fell and slid all the way down the hall on my ass, like a Slip N' Slide. Now soaked with toilet water, I discovered that it was coming from the men's bathroom, where someone tried to flush a Subway sandwich!"
2."A group of drunk female residents started a fire by stuffing tampons in the hair dryer."
3."We had to have a mandatory meeting to tell our residents to stop throwing their condoms out of their windows — some of them were landing in the yard of the preschool next door and the kids were very curious."
4."A student who didn't live in my dorm jumped the security turnstile and climbed up on the roof of our 20-story residence hall. He then fell down an air shaft and got trapped inside at the 14th floor, where he remained for almost SEVEN HOURS before someone heard him yelling the next morning. He had to be cut out."
5."My residents put all the dick pics they were sent through Tinder on the wall in their suite."
6."My partner and I found a freshman in the bushes outside of an upperclassmen apartment, totally naked. When campus police came to get him out of the bush, he peed all over them!"
7."My residents 'adopted' a lobster from the grocery store and hid it in people's beds as a prank."
8."I had a very bored resident who called the RA duty phone claiming he fell down the stairs, and was pretending — very badly, BTW — to have a concussion and amnesia. He kept up the act in front of the campus emergency team, so they were forced to call an ambulance. The EMTs quickly realized he was faking it, but they decided that if he was going to go all the way with the charade, they were too. So they took him to the hospital strapped to a backboard, wearing a full neck brace, and made him wait like that all night."
9. "Once I received a duty call because someone had smeared pulled pork all over the bathroom."
10. "During rounds, I checked one of my floor's suites to find a giant inflatable swimming pool in the living room, with a hose pouring water into it from the bathroom sink. There were at least 10 people in it drinking martinis and chillin' on pool floats! Of course they invited me in for a 'swim', but I politely declined."
11. "I encountered a drunk resident photocopying his butt."
12. "One of my RA friends received a call that a resident saw urine on his windowsill. She discovered quickly that a girl living on the 'all girls' floor above had snuck her boyfriend in. Since he wasn't allowed to be there, he couldn't use the girls' bathroom or he'd get caught — and he couldn't get to the men's restroom downstairs without passing security. So instead, he peed into a bucket and they threw it out the window. And the pee was dripping down onto the window below."
13. "One of my residents went missing for a week. Turns out, he was on acid and WALKED 50 MILES to another university! When he came back, he acted like nothing had happened."
14. "A few months ago, my first-year residents drunkenly ripped all the sinks out of the wall. Seriously."
15. "My RA friend was on duty when he was hit with the most ridiculous, nauseating stink on his floor — a 'make your eyes water' type of stink. He investigated and found a tall reusable water bottle filled with vomit. He tried to dispose of it with rubber gloves and a trash bag, but it spilled. It was then he realized that it wasn't vomit at all — it was diarrhea, STILL WARM! He carried that warm 'shitbottle' down eight flights of stairs to the dumpster and hurled it into the farthest one possible!"
16. "I was working the front desk of the residence hall and a student was trying to prove how sober he was by calling his friend...with his sandal."
17. "A student complained of loud cheering from the room next-door to them, so I went to check it out. Turns out, there were two students racing hamsters in their room on a little obstacle course they'd made!"