10 Crazy Hangover Stories

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Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

By lauramarie - 23/7/2011 14:18 - Canada

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Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

By Pimp53X - 15/10/2009 01:16 - Australia

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Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

By Tucker - 8/2/2010 19:29 - United States

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Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML

By caramelkarma - 15/4/2009 19:47 - United States

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Today, I came to work with a huge hangover after a night out. I work as a marching band director, and guess who I had to conduct a sectional with? That's right, percussion. My head still hasn't stopped throbbing. FML

By oww - 5/9/2015 01:25 - United States - Tekonsha

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Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

By college student - 23/11/2014 18:22 - United States - Oxford

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Today, I arrived at my internship at 7 am after three hours of sleep with a massive hangover. When I got there, my boss told me he had made a mistake and I was meant to come in next week. He then said, "Well, now that you're here, you might as well get some work done. Come in next week as well." FML

By idontevengetpaid - 5/9/2016 04:35 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

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Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

By mothapuka - 26/12/2009 09:10 - United Arab Emirates

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Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 17:30 - United States - San Francisco

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Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

Do you have your own crazy morning-after story?

Submit an FML or share it in the comments below!

By Cali / Saturday 5 August 2017 16:03 / France

FMLNews

Understandable

Nice neighborhood

Abuse

By lotrgeek - 13/2/2012 13:37 - Canada

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Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML

By Megan - 19/3/2018 01:30

Weren't there two girls?

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Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

By googoogaga - 13/3/2010 15:13 - United States

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Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

By That escalated quickly - 24/6/2015 19:45 - United States - Ocean City

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Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML

By soso - 13/5/2012 21:26 - Sweden - Bor

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Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

By WELLFUCKYOUTOO - 14/8/2012 15:02 - Canada - Toronto

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Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

By Anonymous - 22/8/2009 19:39 - Canada

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Today, my best friend and roommate has decided to "stop being controlled by society" while at home. This involves him walking around naked, masturbating whenever he wants, and not cleaning up his guys. I've stepped in it three times already. FML

By Sticky floor - 27/7/2018 05:00

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Today, I almost got our office burned down by plugging the wrong charger into a laptop cooling fan. Tried to hide the incident and kept it casual but the smoke detector led it to my area and everyone knew I was the culprit. I'm a new hire too. FML

By funfettifirework - 18/8/2016 05:08 - Philippines - Quezon City

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Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML

By who knows - 5/2/2020 14:00 - United States - Mankato

Tell me the reason

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Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

By college kid - 31/7/2010 04:39 - United States

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Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 01:33 - United States

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Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

By whoops - 25/5/2014 21:23 - United States - Spring Hill

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Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

By RunningMurphy - 15/5/2009 07:20 - United States

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Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

By Amanda - 26/11/2013 20:00 - United States

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Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

By wastedbaby - 4/7/2011 02:02 - United States

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Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

By Sexless from Texas - 24/4/2015 11:38 - United States - San Antonio

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Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

By sarahhh - 13/2/2009 19:18 - United States

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Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

By cumbucket cops - 16/3/2014 17:53 - United States - Barberton

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Today, I found out that I was never actually enrolled in the class I've been attending all semester. I guess that explains why I only got $400 dollars in student aid, not the 1,200 they said I'd get. FML

By graphite01 - 1/11/2016 04:08 - United States - Eugene

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Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

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Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/9/2012 22:21 - United States

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Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

By you would - 4/3/2009 05:15 - United States

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Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

By Anonymous - 4/12/2010 06:50 - Singapore

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Today, I'm finally dating the girl I've been fawning over for years. So what do I do? I accidentally call her by her sister's name during a conversation, which might seem like a small mistake, except I used to sleep with her sister and she's been having a hard time getting over it. FML

By Drai Gray - 24/6/2019 14:12

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Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

By Anonymous - 28/3/2014 00:09 - United States - Kent

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Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

By Anonymous - 17/6/2009 16:32 - Russian Federation

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Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

By Anonymous - 5/11/2009 17:28 - United States

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Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

By Fatty - 28/12/2011 07:57 - United States

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Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

By what people do for money - 18/7/2014 16:45 - United States - Houston

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Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

By latter - 24/9/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

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Today, while doing a project on income, my teacher told me there are no houses in Japan. I told her I lived in Mitaka for 3 years and that I lived in a house there. She told me I was bullshitting. So much for quality education. FML

By Anonymous - 28/2/2017 14:00

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Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

By Anonymous - 28/5/2011 00:56 - United States

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Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML

By Completely Fed Up - 20/4/2016 18:55 - United States - Spokane

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Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

By neednewshoes - 7/12/2017 01:30

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Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

By Anonymous - 7/9/2009 14:25 - Australia

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Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML

By UhhhUhhhRRRick - 5/3/2009 05:14 - United States

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Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

By testesential - 13/12/2011 17:24 - United States

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Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

By allycat - 25/7/2011 03:26 - United States

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