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Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

#3559417
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38351) - you deserved it (17932)

On 07/07/2009 at 5:29pm - animals - by ssnickel - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

#3502310
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11897) - you deserved it (50794)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:23am - animals - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12225) - you deserved it (59866)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

#3469225
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37890) - you deserved it (3177)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68599) - you deserved it (4992)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46521) - you deserved it (7261)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog ate my little brothers medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML

#3356894
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (7412)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:07am - animals - by glowstick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

#3313899
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34903) - you deserved it (12043)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm - animals - by Teylot (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color, when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchish popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

#3178772
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41371) - you deserved it (6846)

On 06/24/2009 at 4:19pm - animals - by spiderinmylips (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

#3136598
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17721) - you deserved it (41436)

On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

#3110459
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (44842)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:06am - animals - by Ketchup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML

#3107259
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (17683)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:04am - animals - by ihatedogs (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

#3096278
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (4851)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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