Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

by KittenTime / 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

by nrelavender / 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I was so lonely that I was comforted by the sound of mice running through the walls of my apartment. I left cheese and peanut butter out for them to find so that I could at least have a pet for company. FML

by Anon / 05/25/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

by SophieGray / 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

by kaileigh10 / 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm / Animals

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

by bugnose / 05/16/2011 at 2:26am / Animals

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

by bouda / 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm / France (Centre) / Animals

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

by Username / 05/15/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

by crazycat / 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

by toothpastecat / 05/13/2011 at 11:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2011 at 12:41am / Animals

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Animals