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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14951) - you deserved it (44893)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46551) - you deserved it (4939)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (17784)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34291) - you deserved it (7790)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32560) - you deserved it (3612)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

#15905908
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (7040)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11252) - you deserved it (48913)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After calling her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

#15893530
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (3719)

On 04/23/2011 at 1:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43003) - you deserved it (5867)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51418) - you deserved it (8227)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9515) - you deserved it (78025)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

#15793137
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18926) - you deserved it (30018)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:47am - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

#15786852
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (24355)

On 04/14/2011 at 7:29pm - animals - by ciararow - United States



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