Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

#14698067
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36128) - you deserved it (7109)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Taday I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70451) - you deserved it (3951)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

2day I discoverd I ave bd bugs . I ave nowere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress fir at least a year . I'd better get usd to tese giant welts . FML

#14681318
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (4758)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:32am - animals - by krushr (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today I treatd myself to a cheeseburger!! I left it on mah coffee table while I grabbd a napkin from the kitchen!! While I was gone mah dog ate it!! Then pukd it up all over mah carpet!! Which I then had to clean up!! FML

#14658827
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (12550)

On 01/21/2011 at 3:35am - animals - by twinkie2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I let dogs out , and then realized they didn't have there electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars , then dashed out to put them on dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

#14630933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (35754)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:49pm - animals - by fml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today , ma boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to ma grandmoter telling us tat ma cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convincd. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21752) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of mah car. I'm terrifid of spiders so I was watching it instead the road. When I lookd back at the road I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but the tree. Even the cop laughd at me. FML

#14552215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10592) - you deserved it (27713)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I heard mah asshole nieghbor had died of a stroke . I was outside an said, ( Well it's about goddamn time! ) I turned around to see his wife walking her dog an staring deep into mah soul . FML

#14529858
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you deserved it (59426)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food!! Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it!! FML

#14526378
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10790) - you deserved it (28671)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, My Cat Sneezed Drectly Into My Open Eyeball. Mega FML

#14505614
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I was driving back from scool 100 miles away from looool my ome wit my fiancé and dog. Wile stopping 4 gas , we accidentally left our car keys and cell pones in te car. Te dog sat on one of te keys and engagd te locks. We were lockd out of te car until te tow truck arrivd. FML

#14474591
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12695) - you deserved it (19128)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was out running . All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamd like a girl in front of everyone . It was a puppy wanting to play . FML

#14467697
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8650) - you deserved it (28818)

On 01/04/2011 at 9:44pm - animals - by BIZZMAL - United States

Today, I was talking to mah boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some wieght. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know your fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (5638)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)



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