Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML

#16369403
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34865) - you deserved it (5356)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:45am - animals - by FeedMe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35823) - you deserved it (7043)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

#16350161
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47914) - you deserved it (10620)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm - animals - by nrelavender - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14428) - you deserved it (47614)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

#16157379
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (5331)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm - animals - by crazycat - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (8058)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11816) - you deserved it (24639)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47865) - you deserved it (16366)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (6393)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35848) - you deserved it (7213)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (3311)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15 minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML

#16019409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (12007)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:02pm - animals - by Asirual - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14950) - you deserved it (44892)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -



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