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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (3909)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

#15221957
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (8235)

On 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12073) - you deserved it (31902)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (5825)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

#15164938
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (11829)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm - animals - by nothingisreal69 (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35531) - you deserved it (2384)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15451) - you deserved it (25030)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (5941)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26856) - you deserved it (4366)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

#15029276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (3980)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (4172)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32548) - you deserved it (2876)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29425) - you deserved it (4751)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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