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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

#21401449
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (2367)

On 04/28/2015 at 10:43pm - animals - by simple living - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (2434)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (3116)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (2896)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML

#21395798
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (4092)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:34pm - animals - by thisisnotavirustrustme.exe (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31080) - you deserved it (3833)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (19494)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (2496)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (3089)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (2217)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

#21388506
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27209) - you deserved it (3382)

On 04/06/2015 at 7:44am - animals - by tannerrosetx_1 - United States (Texas)



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