Today, after 6 months away, I came home to find out my mom has essentially untrained my dog by spoiling him rotten. She has, however, taught him to fart on command. FML

by LadyGoombah / 07/06/2016 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

by ByeByeBirdie / 06/29/2016 at 6:41pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML

by toto13660 / 06/29/2016 at 4:10pm / Animals

Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML

by insert pussy pun, hurr durr / 06/29/2016 at 1:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, a wasp ended up in the house. Normally, I'd just open a door to outside and run for cover, but my 3-year-old son was home, so I decided to be brave and kill it. It flew into the air vents. We're now playing wasp roulette every time we enter a room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2016 at 8:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I bought a brand new Wii U. My cat must have thought the wires looked tasty because he chewed through each of them, which will now cost me another $100. FML

by why me / 06/29/2016 at 12:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML

by crybaby / 06/28/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

by Lua / 06/28/2016 at 1:09pm / France (Picardie) / Animals

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML

by DogBeater / 06/20/2016 at 9:21pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried to cover it up by having her stuffed. I found it "her" on my bed when I got home. They think that it's sweet that they stuffed the cat they killed. FML

by sadblufly / 06/18/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I felt cold while driving, so I blasted the heat. The one thing I didn't expect was a load of tiny spiders spilling out of the vents and writhing all over my dash. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 1:43pm / Animals

Today, I fell down the stairs of my apartment building because I thought my cat was a ghost. FML

by Austin / 06/17/2016 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Animals