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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43628) - you deserved it (10434)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML

#21247811
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (11633)

On 08/29/2014 at 11:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36649) - you deserved it (6881)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

#21244619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33508) - you deserved it (6090)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:08pm - animals - by notmyrealname123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (5051)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39288) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39514) - you deserved it (8439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33632) - you deserved it (7829)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML

#21231104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36661) - you deserved it (6192)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:35pm - animals - by chynna (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

#21230826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36196) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:34am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36744) - you deserved it (4084)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40288) - you deserved it (5130)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)



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