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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36641) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

#21275907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31509) - you deserved it (2642)

On 10/11/2014 at 11:14pm - animals - by MrG - United States

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (3503)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45557) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (3498)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (4234)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

#21263396
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm - animals - by madisonbubch - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35647) - you deserved it (3733)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34427) - you deserved it (19732)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

#21257810
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (3763)

On 09/13/2014 at 11:38pm - animals - by new dog - United States (Maryland)



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