Health: Today, I think I broke a record. I may have been the first person...

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By KneeJerker - 07/07/2016 15:40 - United States

Today, I think I broke a record. I may have been the first person to hurt myself playing Pokemon GO. I rolled my ankle while looking around, as it suggested to do, not at the ground. FML

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vote type 1 17

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Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, we discovered that our wedding licence from 7 years ago is a complete fake. I don’t get it: we were married in a church by a priest, we got all our paperwork filed with the city council, but our certificate is apparently a fake someone made on a computer, and they got the date wrong. FML

agreeclassic 498

vote type 1 97

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

agreeclassic 27 045

vote type 1 19 784

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

agreeclassic 22 147

vote type 1 2 144

Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus, I realized I'd left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML

agreeclassic 32 798

vote type 1 2 969

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

agreeclassic 58 166

vote type 1 3 967

Today, my boyfriend proudly showed me that he's put me in his favourites contact list on his phone with a heart image. Cute, but I saw another contact on the list with a heart image as well: his favourite take out restaurant. FML

agreeclassic 2 646

vote type 1 748