Kids Today, I found out I was the accident child. FML - FML

oh dear me - 29/01/2016 13:16 - United States - Bronx

Today, I found out I was the accident child. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

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Today, my partner heard the cat about to puke and shoved her off the bed. I found this out in the morning. With my foot. FML

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Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

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Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

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Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

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Today, my girlfriend is so stubborn, she refuses to admit she hates the dog she insisted she had to have 6 months ago. I also hate dogs, so I told her everything dog-related was her problem, especially the pee/poop. Everyone knows she hates the dog but she still refuses to rehome it. FML

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Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML

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