Today, I have expressed my desire to go see a psychiatrist to...

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By Best Coworker Ever - 11/01/2018 16:10

Today, I have expressed my desire to go see a psychiatrist to a coworker to evaluate my mental health and see what areas I can grow in. My coworker looked at me and said, "There's a coat closet over there if you need it." FML

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vote type 1 5

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Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

agreeclassic 559

vote type 1 40

Today, my side chick decided to call my wife and inform her about the affair I was having, all because I slammed on the brakes in the car to avoid hitting a cat and made her spill her frozen yoghurt. FML

agreeclassic 230

vote type 1 4 422

Today, I woke up to find I'd peed the bed. My girlfriend did the warm water trick to me, where she put my hand in water while sleeping, which can make you piss yourself apparently. As I went to get up, I noticed she'd also painted my toenails pink. FML

agreeclassic 958

vote type 1 202

Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML

agreeclassic 740

vote type 1 84

Today, I was sick, so I went into work to see if I could get my shift covered, instead of just calling in. I ended up working an extra hour. FML

agreeclassic 10 624

vote type 1 3 380

Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML

agreeclassic 1 570

vote type 1 221