Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 5:13am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 4:54am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I saw one of my favorite hockey players in public. I had met him once before, and to my shock, he remembered me. I was pretty excited until he started talking to his friend in French. He didn't seem to realize that I'm fluent in the language. He basically called me "ugly psycho bitch." FML

by frenchgirl / 11/23/2009 at 1:59am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

AliasFan4Lyfe's comment : i hope you said something back to him in french lol

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Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

by OnlyIfYouLoveMe / 11/23/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

by apparentlyhesbusy / 11/23/2009 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

by denise / 11/23/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

by petlover / 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

by Micheal / 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

by drunkennight / 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

by NotsexyEnough / 11/22/2009 at 10:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

by Sam / 11/22/2009 at 8:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy