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2day after finally giving up on the search for mah lost dog, I realizd that mah nieghbor had found her and are convincd that she was a stray . They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take mah own dog back . FML

#1078631
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68343) - you deserved it (3115)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove past a frehouse that had volunteer fremen taking collections. I take out a $20 an start to roll the window downhen I remember mah window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the freman. Now the freman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47816) - you deserved it (15767)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

yesterday was ma birtday. My friends love to play pranks on me. Soen I entered te door fir ma surprise party, I became aware of te surroundings. Tere was noting. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered te room. Wen I closed te door beind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

#1075596
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83193) - you deserved it (5268)

On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by fmylifebadddd (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

2day at te reeresal fir ma wedding, ma moter told ma bride's moter to fuck off. mega FML

#1072377
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74561) - you deserved it (3664)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was petting mah cat when mah new mood ring turnd bright purple. I checkd the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to mah ring, I'm hot 4 mah cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (15743)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

todayhile standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wereing the same shrt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wereing that shrt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

#1068515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52785) - you deserved it (9834)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by woopwoop (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today , I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus , not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down , I felt something on mah shoulder. Thinking it was a hand , I turned mah head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch , it was his erection resting on mah shoulder. FML

#1068348
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (157032) - you deserved it (8775)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I was taking my boyfriand to tha mall!! In tha parking lot I pointd out an old man in a vibrant pink swaatarho was laaving by saying "Ha is so gay." My boyfriand got out of tha car and walkd towards tha man calling "Hay Papaw!" It was his grandfathar!! FML

#1067181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11574) - you deserved it (74075)

On 04/17/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by grampsisgay (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today My Girlfriend Left Her Phone On A Bus. With No Way To Pick It Up, I Drove 40 Miles Through Friday Night Boston Traffic To Get It From The Bus Company Office. It Took Me Four Hours. Bord In Traffic, I Discoverd The Texts From Her Other Boyfriend.

#1064641
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79490) - you deserved it (4406)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Safe - United States (New Jersey)

yesterday I came home from work to find that mah neighbor's trash bins are still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid runs out an shoots me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar an he ruined mah new suit. FML

#1060859
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51987) - you deserved it (6331)

On 04/17/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ruined_suit (man) - United States (California)

Today... I Finally Got Some Sleep After An Exterminator Came Yesterday And Took Care Of Our Roach Problem. I Woke Up And Kissed My Boyfriend Good Morning. Frowning... He Told Me I Had Something Stuck On The Corner Of My Mouth. It Was A Roach Leg. Where Is The Rest Of The Roach? FML

#1056557
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89190) - you deserved it (4020)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile!! When I called mah boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was ( So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore? ) FML

#1056544
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59673) - you deserved it (6815)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race u can swim!! I won!! Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time!! I had been disqualified!! For flinching!! Before the race started!! FML

#1054756
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79426) - you deserved it (6252)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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