Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

by samantha / 01/27/2010 at 9:05am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

by dys / 01/27/2010 at 7:20am / United States (Alaska) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

by Patrick / 01/27/2010 at 6:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

by Sundendako / 01/27/2010 at 5:20am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

by Username / 01/27/2010 at 3:35am / Transportation

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

by pubquizgenius / 01/27/2010 at 3:24am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

by Brummsta / 01/27/2010 at 2:41am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

by DuChaillu / 01/27/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

by garage / 01/27/2010 at 1:21am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's ex-wife facebooked me to inform me that they were still married and he was still sleeping with her. I've been living with him for the past month. FML

by LivingInSin / 01/27/2010 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

by boned / 01/27/2010 at 12:25am / United States (Utah) / Money