Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML
by ItSucks / 01/01/2010 at 12:12am / United States (Ohio) / Love
KJRx's comment : Your boyfriend of two months and you were waiting for a first kiss? Haha.
perdix's comment : Plus, your dad is a cat person, right? What's the big deal about doggie-style anyways? My wife and I do that all the time -- I beg and she rolls over and plays dead.
Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML
by Unloving / 12/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then I found it. Then I found out I can't reactivate it, because I asked for a replacement card. I'm from CA, and I'm in Mexico with only 20 bucks. FML
by Busted / 12/31/2009 at 3:52pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
by pottypattypeepants / 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML
by lifesux / 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Love
by MorganRox26 / 12/31/2009 at 11:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by brokenrainbow. / 12/31/2009 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Animals
Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
by ParanoidFreak / 12/31/2009 at 4:31am / United States (South Carolina) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
AGGoddess's comment : Did anyone else provide backup vocals?