Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

by Yoooooo0 / 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 11:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people; 17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 9:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line. Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it looked like she was in a hurry. When she was all rung up, she decided to pay her $16.45 in loose change which needed to be counted out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 8:49am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, it's decided, I'm going on diet. For real. But I said that yesterday. And the day before. FML

by Numnum / 11/29/2009 at 8:02am / United Kingdom (Greater London) / Health

Today, me and my girlfriend went and saw "The Blind Side." I sobbed throughout the entire movie. My girlfriend didn't shed a tear. FML

by jimmyt420 / 11/29/2009 at 4:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

by Nomoresandwish / 11/29/2009 at 3:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

by ? / 11/29/2009 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

by Granmacathy / 11/29/2009 at 2:13am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

by hawaiianlovechild / 11/29/2009 at 2:09am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I made out with a guy that I had just met at a party. It was my first kiss. I don't know what's worse, the fact that my first kiss is at the age of 23, or the fact that I saw him making out with a different girl later on in the night. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 1:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 1:31am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous