Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

by tony1401 / 02/02/2010 at 11:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

by jacques / 02/02/2010 at 9:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Holidays

Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML

by taxed / 02/02/2010 at 8:00am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

by paul / 02/02/2010 at 6:25am / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

by BaldingQuick / 02/02/2010 at 2:34am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML

by Zephyric / 02/02/2010 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend asked me to marry him because he could get a tax cut from buying the ring. All of this happened in front of his mother. FML

by engagedmaybe / 02/02/2010 at 1:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

by wolfpacking / 02/02/2010 at 12:51am / Transportation

Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML

by anoynomous / 02/02/2010 at 12:47am / Transportation

kayvan's comment : That ticket won't stand up in court, especially with the arresting officer's relationship to your ex. Fight it!

See all the comments

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

by Chris / 02/02/2010 at 12:40am / Transportation

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

by overexcited / 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

by kaitlynn / 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm / Love