Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML

by 1378 / 03/12/2010 at 3:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

by LXA429 / 03/12/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 2:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

by gorgeousgirl / 03/12/2010 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

by ugh / 03/12/2010 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

by meowtickmeow / 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

by dreadedmafia86 / 03/11/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

by heartless / 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous