Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

by heartless / 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

by anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

by danikka1 / 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm / United States / Love

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 10:24am / United Kingdom (Hillingdon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

by captainkevineff / 03/11/2010 at 9:44am / United States / Health

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

by talhabilal / 03/11/2010 at 9:28am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend who recently cheated on me and broke up with me for another girl, has herpes. Guess how I found out? FML

by cheated / 03/11/2010 at 7:50am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

by StretchNuts / 03/11/2010 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I congratulated my friend for getting engaged. This is the fourth friend of mine this year that has become engaged. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. FML

by Lonely / 03/11/2010 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Love

Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML

by er1133 / 03/11/2010 at 7:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

by ShowOff / 03/11/2010 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 1:45am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work